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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Inner Conflict and Fight Club

The Mustard Seed rocked today. We talked about inner conflict and turmoil. That was the subject for the day in the 24 Hours book. The passage describes how this is taken away when working the steps and the program.

I've had plenty of inner conflict over the years. The first thing that came to mind was my spirituality. I've fought that battle within myself for a long time. The ego and selfishness of my addiction would not allow me to open up to the fact that life is so much better and richer when you leave skepticism at the door and open up to God. That was a serious, serious roadblock in my getting into recovery. Let me assure anyone who has had the same problem, you will be amazed at the things that will happen when you drop your defenses and accept that. I was. I couldn't work my program without my Higher Power.

I got to thinking more about the topic of the day. For some reason, the movie Fight Club suddenly became relevant. I shared this, too, much to the amusement of the others. In the film, Edward Norton and Brad Pitt are constantly at odds and beating the crap out of each other. At the end (and this is a spoiler... not that the movie hasn't been out for over 10 years) Norton discovers that he and Pitt are the same person. He was his own problem the whole time. That's by no means the only premise of the movie... and it certainly isn't a morality tale, but I sure as hell got something from that aspect of it. I'll have to pull it up on Netflix on my PC next time I get a chance.

Just got called into work early so I better run. Will try to post again before midnight. Still no wifi at the place, so I may have to go to a coffee shop. I find that writing this is like a little mini-meeting, so sometimes I go out of my way to post. It's an open meeting, as well, which means anyone can attend. ;)

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