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Sunday, November 6, 2011

Moms and Meetings

My mom called me today. The mom in Alabama. She told me that she was hospitalized earlier in the week for malnutrition and dehydration. Neither of which surprised me. I'm so glad she's ok. The poor lady lives in squalor and usually only eats things like ramen noodles. I don't know where her money goes. She doesn't get much, but she doesn't pay for much either. I've sent her money a couple of times, but have no idea what she used it on. Sarah was right. If I ever help her out again, I'm just going to pay for a bill or something. Anyway. I made sure she had multi-vitamins in the house.

She also told me that she was detoxing. A bit perplexed, I asked her, "From what?" She said alcohol. We knew that she drank, and I already knew what she was going to say. I just wanted to hear her say it. Not out of spite or to embarrass her, she just needed to say it. I tried to explain to her the differences between abstinence and recovery. Talking over her, though, is like trying to talk over a stuck foghorn. I told her that I was glad she was trying to quit, but that she would need some sort of support system in her town. Didn't seem too interested in that. In any case, I wish her the best.

Called and talked to my sponsor earlier. We're going to try for a late lunch Tuesday. Had a great meeting too. It was a "share your story" format group. We had a guy talk about his past, his, disease, where it took him, and where he is now. A couple of things he shared jumped out at me. One was about how he created an identity for himself to try and make people like him. For him, it was the James Dean misunderstood rebel identity. For me, in school, I became the class clown... and my grades suffered for it. I had been doing very well, but was so desperate to be accepted.

Another big one was about how he tried to cover up his alcoholism. Sneaking, and lying, and so forth. Believe me when I tell you that that life is like a full-time job. When I say that, I mean 24/7 kinda full-time. It is exhausting and it takes a horrific toll. Words don't do justice to how happy I am to have left that lifestyle behind me.

Well. I'm going to finish this burger and listen to some music while I surf.

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