Truck Day and a New Chip

Our truck driver was back today. He was all over the place, and from his behavior, I'd sworn he must've been off his meds. He came up and talked to me a bit after we were all done.

He assured me that he was still taking them. That's something I can only take his word on. I asked about his family and they are doing ok. He's performing his role of father and husband much better. They've been doing alot of family activities. He's still sleeping in a different room, though. He seemed a bit exasperated by that. I told him not to waver. It sounded like he was making real progress and his wife obviously hasn't given up on him. As long as he was doing what he needed to be doing to get better, things would fall into place. That together he and she could save that marriage. They have the advantage of an open line of communication. That, a little willingness, openness, and honesty goes a long way. Whether he sticks to his guns, saves himself and everything he says he holds dear is up to him. I hope it all works out. It would do my heart some good too.

He shared that he is also a little worried about the holidays. He's welcome at his in-laws, but they aren't quite over things yet. I told him that the worst thing he could do is not visit. He still has to make amends to them too. The best way he can win them back is by getting better and showing them how much he loves their daughter and their grand-kids. When they see first hand that he is recovering, and his family is his top priority, they'll eventually come around. It's all about actions. Show me, don't tell me....

Once again... Whether this guy follows through, or not... I don't know. I do know that he is in a much better situation than I am with his partner. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit envious. I'd be lying, too, if I said I wouldn't be a bit disappointed if he threw it all away again and went back out. I have my own recovery, though, and I have to remember that.

It's something that I have immersed myself in. It's become a way of life for me. The things that I do in my program are now things that have just become a part of everyday living. I can't describe the good it is doing. Thank God.

Today is two months for me and I still have no desire to drink. I thank God for that too. I had to work all day and couldn't pick up my chip. I can't remember if my group on Saturday gives out chips or not. I know the Sunday group does... Very enthusiastic about that.

Oh. Want to hear a story about divine intervention? We all know my phone was stolen yesterday. I lost my sponsor's number as a result. After leaving an email for him on his work website and hearing no response, I said to myself, "Maybe I'll see someone from the group who knows him today." Who shows up where I work tonight but my grand-sponsor. Never seen him in there before. Got his number too. I call my sponsor everyday and was worried I'd miss one.

Well. That's it for now. I had some low spots today, but they passed. I hurt alot and miss someone every second of everyday. But I'm being patient, hopeful and am concentrating on recovery. The people in your life may say, "I've heard it all before." When they actually see it happening, however, it becomes something that they can't deny. I'm making it happen.

As long as I'm doing that, life is good.