I was talking to a co-worker today about why I seem a bit moody. I explained to her that I'm currently tackling all kinds of problems that I once avoided with alcohol or just shutting down altogether. She seemed to understand immediately and said, "Well welcome to the real world. It's a mother f@%&*er." That gave me a much needed laugh. I'll never forget that. Matter of fact, I may share the encounter at my meeting tonight.
Now then. There's something I need to address. There's an aspect of my recovery and my role in someone else's life that I haven't been working to my full potential. I have someone very special out there that I still haven't been showing the proper love and respect to. I've been so wrapped up in my own feelings and insecurities that I haven't been providing the kind of protection that she deserves. It's a selfish thing not to take into account her pain as well. I've been saying that I'm here to give her whatever she needs, and the thing she needs most is time. I'm sorry, Cupcake. If I say that I'll do anything it takes to make sure you have what you need, I'm going to have to clear the wax out of my ears so I can hear what you are clearly telling me you need.
I'll write more after my meeting. Need to call my sponsor and finish my orange juice before time to leave. Laterz. With a "z" for emphasis.
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