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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A Huge Thank You

What am I grateful for? (And I thought I was going to have some trouble coming up with something to write about. Not at all, as you'll see.) Had a good meeting. Grateful for that. We talked about pessimism today. I shared that there are some dark clouds in my life right now. As far as my recovery and life success in general goes, I'm very optimistic. More than optimistic actually. I can see all the doors opening up for me. Already walked through a few of them. Working hard will ensure that those doors stay open. Just waiting on one more to open and everything will really start falling into place. It's a red door. With a butterfly knocker.

What else am I grateful for....? My health. Just got my blood pressure checked and it was in the normal range. I've lost a lot of weight the healthy way. I walk a lot and don't snack. Quitting smoking. Going to aim for tonight being my last smoke. Tried recently but the hold-up kinda threw me off schedule. Still have bad dreams over that. All in all, though, I believe I'm in really good shape.

Thankful for my sponsor and my program. I talk to Karl everyday. I can't thank him enough for the work he is doing with me. I'm grateful for AA and my program, without which, I'd either be dead or laying in a gutter somewhere. It's given me my life and all its infinite possibilities back. I'm thankful for the people I've helped so far. They help me heal. My meetings, sponsor, program, service work... it all helps keep me focused and serene.

I'm thankful to God for being able to wake up this morning and draw another breath. And for helping keep me sober for another day.

Last, and by no means least, I am thankful for you. The person who is reading this right now. My friends, family, and complete strangers. I write this blog for me. It's the best therapy I've ever had. I write it for you too. I write it for those it helps and for those who care enough to see how far I've made it. I am truly grateful and in complete awe at all the wonderful words every one of you have sent my way. You play a large role in keeping me on the straight and narrow. Teresa and Dad especially. Thank you for not giving up on me. There's one more person that I am so thankful for that words will never be enough to describe. She's sitting alone in an apartment right now, perhaps reading this. She is the best, kindest woman I've ever met. I like to think she's out there waiting... seeing what I'm going to do. I like to think that one day we'll be married with kids of our own and will have put the bad stuff far behind us. If she's willing or if there is even a chance, I couldn't be more grateful for anything else.

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