I have to admit to being a bit put off by some of the shares at my group. I didn't say anything about it, though. It's just that everyone there seems to be dreading the holidays. The bickering, family squabbles, headaches.... The self-pity part of me wanted to interject and say, "Hey. You guys should be thankful you get to spend the holidays with people you love. There was a time in your disease that not very many people would have wanted you around." That's just the God's honest truth about most active addicts. I'm in recovery now and some people still don't want anything to do with me. I'm going to have to spend the holidays alone, so please forgive me for not being very receptive to those woes. I know it's my fault I'll be alone, but that doesn't make the hurt go away.
Once again, though, I have to step back and realize that triggers do arise at family functions, and that certainly needs to be addressed. Just don't make something so special sound like such a chore. It's a blessing. Still love ya Mustard Seed.
In other news, I got off the phone with a guy from California a little bit ago. I'm trying to enroll in their online school for an associates in Alcohol and Drug Counseling. I have an online appointment with him tomorrow to talk about grants. Woot.
Well. I'm just going to hang out here and surf for a while before my next meeting. Maybe listen to some music. I'll write again after my evening meeting.
I realize I have a choice this year, I can spend Thanksgiving at an girlfriend's home with her family. I was invited. That's a blessing. Or I can chose to stay at home alone to enjoy a day off. I might like that too. My family lives in other states, which I also choose by moving here by myself. My family healing has taken some time, and is still difficult for me at certain parts. Yet, it has become better over time. I'll go to a meeting on Thanksgiving day too. Enjoy your recovery.
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