I met my sponsor first thing this morning and he asked me some questions about my Higher Power. I told him how I was feeling a subtle presence in my life lately that was working through me. Perhaps guiding me. I told him that I was praying again.... which I have been for a little while. I truly believe that a power greater than myself is helping me and will help me through my recovery. Not just that, but life in general. I see how vital that is and how blind I was to it before. He looked at me and simply said, "We're done with step two." I thought that was pretty quick, but he explained that the first few steps are prep work mainly. That the real work starts later. He said that it's important not to linger on any of the steps. That's a trap some people fall into.... You need to go ahead, get it out in the open, and then move on to the next. It seems to have worked well with him. My work for Step 3 will be to read and write about openness, honesty, and willingness. I'll share here when done.
"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as we understood him."
Our truck driver came around today. The one I've been writing about. He was a totally different person. I talked to him before he left. He'd shown me a picture of his family and I asked about them. Then I asked if he was taking the medication prescribed to him. He said yes and I told him I could tell. He wasn't all over the place and acting crazy. He told me he hasn't gone back out and that he has been better working his role as father and husband in the house. He even said his wife was feeling better about things. He programmed my number into his phone so he could call me if he ever needs to. I don't think he'll lose it this time. I told him I was proud of him and to keep praying. I wish nothing but the best for the guy. Hope he sticks to it and works hard.
Now... I wont say exactly when my day took a downturn. Or what it was over. It just did. As I've said before, I have my ups and downs. I'm in a bit of a down right now. There's nothing on this planet that would ever again make me seek the warm embrace of oblivion that alcohol provides. Never and by the grace of God. All I can do is work my recovery and feel the pain as it comes. Some are asking if there is anything in particular I'm putting before that recovery. My simple answer is no. It's my recovery that is making a hard time bearable. That and faith that we will be together again so I can share this new life with her.