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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Desire and Fresh Fruit

It's been a long day and I am tired... Productive though. Today is my niece's birthday, so I called and talked to her. Sent her a subscription to "Zooworld". Worked from 8am. Went to a meeting at 6. Walked ALOT. Tried to pay off something on my credit report, but will have to wait until tomorrow so they can get the file.

Something interesting came to me at work. I had eaten a fruit bowl for breakfast and something in it tasted a bit alcoholly. May have been non-fresh fruit. May have been in my head. Anyway, that got me thinking about when I was drinking, and that used to spark some sick kind of nostalgia. This time, however, I saw in myself... and I mean deep in myself.... that I had no desire to do it. It just came to me and I don't know how. The only thing I can think of is my Higher Power. The fact that I'm re-establishing a relationship with God, I've been praying, and holding dear to my love of Sarah and my family. I think that that lack of desire has been there for a while, but today I actually felt it. Does that make sense?

The meeting was ok. It was the "After Work" group. The guy who moderated is always interesting to listen to. We're acquaintances and I see him around often. As a matter of fact, he's one of the first people who ever stopped and talked to me after a meeting. I looked like a deer in headlights that day. Of course this was about 4 years ago. His topic was "perfection". Now some may disagree, and please call me out on this if ya do, but I've never considered myself too much of a perfectionist. I could be wrong, though, and just never realized it. I know that I have gotten pretty involved in my own little projects in the past. That's a behavior I'm trying to tame nowadays. Hard work is a totally different thing from fixation. Perfectionism can create stress and use up precious time.

Geez. Now I have myself wondering if I was a perfectionist on some level....

I had a good, long conversation with Teresa before the meeting (as we often do). I wont go into too much detail about it, but our talks do a world of good. Thanks, Teresa.

I work late tomorrow so I'll be going to one of my favorite meetings at noon. Mustard Seed rocks!

1 comment:

  1. You are welcome! My Mom did it for me. I use to call her every morning at 6:30 and her encouragement helped me thru the day.