Something interesting came to me at work. I had eaten a fruit bowl for breakfast and something in it tasted a bit alcoholly. May have been non-fresh fruit. May have been in my head. Anyway, that got me thinking about when I was drinking, and that used to spark some sick kind of nostalgia. This time, however, I saw in myself... and I mean deep in myself.... that I had no desire to do it. It just came to me and I don't know how. The only thing I can think of is my Higher Power. The fact that I'm re-establishing a relationship with God, I've been praying, and holding dear to my love of Sarah and my family. I think that that lack of desire has been there for a while, but today I actually felt it. Does that make sense?
The meeting was ok. It was the "After Work" group. The guy who moderated is always interesting to listen to. We're acquaintances and I see him around often. As a matter of fact, he's one of the first people who ever stopped and talked to me after a meeting. I looked like a deer in headlights that day. Of course this was about 4 years ago. His topic was "perfection". Now some may disagree, and please call me out on this if ya do, but I've never considered myself too much of a perfectionist. I could be wrong, though, and just never realized it. I know that I have gotten pretty involved in my own little projects in the past. That's a behavior I'm trying to tame nowadays. Hard work is a totally different thing from fixation. Perfectionism can create stress and use up precious time.
Geez. Now I have myself wondering if I was a perfectionist on some level....
I had a good, long conversation with Teresa before the meeting (as we often do). I wont go into too much detail about it, but our talks do a world of good. Thanks, Teresa.
I work late tomorrow so I'll be going to one of my favorite meetings at noon. Mustard Seed rocks!