Well I'm going to write about it tonight. What have I gained so far from my recovery? In true list style that someone would be very proud of, I'm going to lay some of it out. Here goes...
1- I connect better with people. Putting selfishness and ego away, I can now open up and show genuine interest and concern about them. I can feel and show emotion and empathize.
2- I connect with God. Before recovery, pride and fear kept me away from my Higher Power and spiritual growth. Also from how I was brought up.
3- No more waking up frantic, shaky, clammy, shameful, nauseous, or wanting another drink. No more calling in to work over that or going in thinking I'm about to pass out or being paranoid that someone may smell alcohol on me. No more picking up all the pieces when the walls come down.
4- Automatic pay raise. No more blowing money on something that was killing me and my relationships.
5- I don't have to lie anymore. I heard a guy share at a meeting the other night that he could tell the truth now without hurting people.
6- I can be the man I'm supposed to be for those I love. I'm no longer bound by an addiction that kept me a million miles away from effectively being the person they need. She needs. I can have a family and be the provider they'll depend on.
7- I can think clearly and make sound decisions again. Impulse and indecision don't slow me down like they once did.
8- I actually have motivation and drive. Consistency too. The ability to follow through on what I say.
9- I feel so much better about myself. Call it self-worth or self-esteem... Whatever it is, I'm more confident and have faith that I can do whatever I put my mind to.
10- I can go outside! When on a binge, I would stare out the blinds thinking of everything that I was missing in the world. Now if I want to go to the park... I go to the park.
That's just 10. Doesn't make me a Superman. Most people have all of that naturally. Some of us have to work on it. Some of those things people take for granted. I'll think of alot more. May even have to do a part 2 here.
And to the active addict who is suffering out there... Life can be so much better if you let go and ask for help. I did. Break those chains and see it for yourself. ;)