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Thursday, October 27, 2011

An Evening Full of Recovery

Sitting up the street having a burger and doing laundry.... and a Diet Coke. Yes, at Igor's. The only place I can wash at this time. Told my sponsor and he trusts me. I think. I forget that someone in my position has a harder time gaining trust. That's ok. Just means that I have to work harder.

I really needed this evening. It snapped me back a bit from what happened earlier. The business meeting was interesting. We nominated and elected several people into different positions in the group. Chair, secretary, etc... They offered to allow me into a lower ranking position, but I had to decline citing that I didn't feel like I had enough sobriety. I will be doing service work, however, by helping set up for business and regular meetings. I told them I'd do whatever they needed that was in my capacity. We talked group finance too. Woot.

The regular meeting was fantastic. My sponsor was there as well. There was alot of discussion about how folks had gotten into the program and their lives prior. I wasn't much up for sharing tonight. Just listened. Perhaps the biggest thing I left with, though, was that we as alcoholics like to blame our problems on everything and everyone around us. We don't truly start recovering until we realize that we are our own problem. I love that. Not a new notion, but it never gets old.

Afterward my sponsor and I went to the Rue (coffee shop). We just talked tonight. I shared with him some of what has been going on lately. Well. Everything that has been going on. One thing being Sarah and how I should back off and work my program. She may come around when she sees how well I'm doing or she may not. Talked about today too. He gave me some very good advice. I appreciate it very much. He also gave me an assignment to get me started in working the steps. List 10 things that I'm powerless over in alcoholism. I'll share that here after I've shared it with him.

Something else that I just remembered. And this is something I've never thought of. We were talking about how we'd both tried to function in society and work and still drink. It doesn't work. There is no such thing as a functional alcoholic. Basically, if you aren't recovering, some aspect of your life almost invariably is a wreck. I want to look deeper into that.

...........*I just moved my clothes over to the dryer.*

Writing tonight has helped a ton, too, dear reader. Thank you. Now I am going to tear into this cajun burger. G'nite.

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