Cornerstone Church Sermon 06-03-12: Stories Jesus Told

I'm so excited about this new series from Cornerstone. It centers around the biblical parables that Jesus told and how they apply to us today. Spiritually and in everyday life. Doubly excited that Cupcake and I were actually there to see it live for a change!

Still on vacation and having an absolute blast. It's not often that we get to see my family so I'm making sure to make the most out of every second.

The Caterpillar and the Tunnel

If your life is ever going to get better, you'll have to take risks. There is simply no way you can grow without taking chances. —David Viscott

One sunny day a caterpillar who was afraid of the dark came to a tunnel, which lay squarely in its path. It had a choice of going back where it started, or summoning the courage to crawl into the darkness. "What shall I do?" wondered the caterpillar. "If I go back home, I won't get where I want to go, but I'm so afraid!"

Just then, a voice called out from the tunnel. "I can hear you, Mr. Caterpillar. I am Mr. Beetle. I am here in the tunnel and I can see the other end. If you come through, you won't lose your fear of the dark, but you will get where you want to go."

We are all like the caterpillar once in a while. But if we let our fear stop us from doing things, which are necessary to our growth, we will never realize what courage we really have.

Wow. I am really starting to dig the daily passages from Today's Gift-Family Meditations! Some are like little fables. All apply to almost everyone. I think I'll start sharing these more often. They're a little more uplifting than the other daily thought books... in my opinion.

Well. I got two days off, two more work days, then vacation! I'm praying for a nice, laid back time with Cupcake and my family (who I rarely get to see). Very excited about that! Plus some good ole fashioned mountain meetings... Woot!

That caterpillar story reminded me of a Cure song. Not incredibly related to one another. Just made me think of it.

Good night and God Bless!

The Cure - The Caterpillarfound onUncategorized

Happy Easter!

Made my round of Easter calls today. Dad and Teresa are doing fine and enjoyed a nice, quiet holiday. Couldn't get through to my Bro. Uncle Ronnie is still at the total care facility getting physical therapy. He had some visitors and ate some ham and dressing. My mom was watching TV.....

My mom... What could have been a pleasant "Happy Easter" call turned into a series of personal questions, complaints, repeating the same, identical personal questions 10 minutes later, and my favorite... "Are you going to take care of me when I get old?".

It would be very easy to say that I would take as much care of her as she did of me when I was young. Instead, I stood silently for a moment and told her that I would make sure she was taken of. After all, no one else is going to do it. It probably means a nursing home near wherever I live. To illustrate how dramatic she can be, though, she isn't even 60 yet.

I had to get off the phone. She isn't trying to be malicious. She's just a very scared, selfish woman. Here's her story in case you are curious... The Lost Mother

Other than that experience, it was a very nice day. Got to talk to my fam and have some quality Easter time with someone special.

Well. Time for bed. I hope you all had a wonderful, peaceful time today! Goodnight...

Out of Touch

It's been a bit of an odd day. Found out about some of my high school classmates who have passed over the years. It was a little shocking and sad to hear. Being away from where I raised for so long has kept me seriously out of touch. Until Myspace and Facebook came along, I hadn't talked to alot of friends and family for over a decade. So there is something to be said for social networking.

When I jetted out of Alabama, I never looked back. Traveled around the world, lived around the continent, and drank alot. Some people envy that lifestyle, but I learned the hard way that it usually just leads to loneliness. I never built any real relationships, and neglected the ones I already had. Heck. Sometimes a year or so would go by before I saw any of my family. That was my own choice, though. Pretty selfish... trading substance for a seat-of-your-pants, adventurous ideal. Do I regret it? Not necessarily. The things I saw and did were fantastic to say the least. Could I have gone about it in a better way? Most definitely.

My grandfather from my Dad's previous marriage passed away not too long ago. I hadn't talked to him in many years either. I suppose I figured (in my own sick way) that after the divorce I wasn't really part of the family anymore. My brother convinced me to visit them after the funeral. When I was told that he'd asked about me often, and they still kept pictures of me in the house, I was overcome with guilt and shame. A nasty concoction of pride and fear kept me away from folks who still loved me.

Talked to someone earlier today, a cousin from the same family, who told me of another passing. I didn't know her well, but was still sad to hear about her going. When the cousin sent me a message to call him, I felt that same anxiety come up. "I haven't talked to him in years." "What do I say?" For once I put all of that aside and called. I'm glad I did. Even though the circumstances were bad, it was good talking to him.

You probably gather by now that I've had alot on my mind. I think I've learned a little more about myself. With that said, it's getting late, and I have to be up very early. Until tomorrow, dear reader, goodnight and God bless.

Impulse and Actuality

"Your feelings aren't always an indicator of how you are doing."

I heard that tonight and really liked it. Sometimes things aren't nearly as bad as I think they are, but in the past, my reactions to my feelings led me down a very detrimental path. I was talking to one of my fellow Round Table members about the steps. How I think that when the correct one is applied to a certain situation I might impulsively act on, when actually worked, it gives me a broader view of things. It slows me down, but in a good way.

Got there early and helped set up. Enjoyed some good conversation. Had a great topic. Our speaker started the discussion on staying plugged in. It was awesome listening to all the old-timers tell their stories. How they went from seeing their relatives hide the valuables when they came to visit to having families of their own. Talking proudly of their grand-kids. What a wonderful incentive to live a better life. Make myself better for me so I can create some love and joy in this world.

Well. I had a very physical day at work, so I'm going to go ahead and put my feet up. Mardi Gras parades start tomorrow uptown. Commuting is about to become very interesting.

Have a great night and God bless!

June-cation 2011

Wanna see the most important things in my life? Here ya go!

Was going through some old YouTube vids and wanted to share.

On the Road Again....

Just brewed my last pot of coffee... Said goodbye to baby William.... Sawed off that pesky tree branch that was sticking out over the road.... Packed up.... Talked to my bro about coming out for Mardi Gras.... Still gotta say farewell to JW and Nancy....

I have an all-night trip back to New Orleans starting at 8:25. Wont get back til about 8am tomorrow morning. Seeing as how I wont be able to write tonight, I thought I'd go ahead and post now.

Teresa picked up some stuff to make our own pizza, so we'll be doing that in a bit. Dad will be back from work soon. I'm going to try and clean up some. Still a few things to do before taking off... Gonna miss my folks alot. Hopefully I'll see them before the reunion in June. Might try and make it out to Auburn for a weekend.

So. Goodbye, mountains. Goodbye, country meetings. Goodbye, stillness of night. Goodbye, BBQ eatings!

"A happy family is but an earlier heaven."

-George Bernard Shaw

And, yes. I'll miss you too, Smokey.

What A Great Week!

Wow! This week has flown right by! I still have tomorrow, though. Then I head out tomorrow night. Get back to New Orleans Saturday morning. I'd really like to thank Jeremy, Lacie, Avery, Ella, Dad and Teresa for their hospitality. I was truly blessed to have had such an awesome time with you guys! I consider this a valuable opportunity to heal some relationships and a time of spiritual enrichment. Not to mention it was just fun!

I got to connect with some people in a way that, perhaps, would have been a bit more difficult for me before. Got to see some folks I haven't seen in a while too. And it was a nice, quiet retreat from all the noise and craziness of New Orleans.

I don't mind noise and craziness so much, but it is good to get away from it sometimes...

I take back with me a greater sense of peace and an even more invigorated determination to build and succeed. There's so much I can do with this one life I've been given. And so much I can share.

To my family... I love you guys and thanks again! I'm sad to leave, but excited to get home and see what the future holds!

I'll post tomorrow before I leave. Until then, have a great night.

A Little Quality Time

Jeremy told me this morning that it took about 10 minutes to wake me up last night. I had fallen asleep while writing. Apparently, when I finally woke up, I thought I was still in New Orleans. I asked him what was going on and what he was doing there... I literally fought sleep all day yesterday.

Had a great home-cooked omelette for breakfast, took a walk around the neighborhood with Jeremy and the girls, had a BBQ sandwich at Cracker Barrel with Lacie's family, came back and watched the girls open presents, went to Target, and now watching the Saints game with my bro!

I'm so grateful to have this time with my folks! Simple, quality time. It doesn't have to be spent at an amusement park, or waterskiing, or skydiving. Some of the best times I've ever had have been spent in a living room watching a DVD or playing a game with people I love. ;) Apples to Apples rocks.

Simply put, love your loved ones like there's no tomorrow! Enjoy any time God gives you to spend with them.

Goodnight, all!

Horseback Riding and Butt Jokes

Well that was an arduous journey, but well worth it! Had a wonderful time with Jeremy, Lacie, and the girls! We went and did some of their jobs through the day, had lunch at CiCi's pizza, went with Avery to her first horseback riding lesson (she's a natural), and then had dinner at Hardee's. Yeah. It was a menu of junk food all day long, but it was good and the company was great!

I'm having an awesome time connecting with my family so far.... and today was only the first day. We're watching A Christmas Carol right now, and the girls are already passed out. I discovered that my niece, Ella, is quite the extrovert and has an affinity for butt jokes too.

We'll have most of the day tomorrow and Sunday. Dad and Teresa come out Sunday morning, and church is on the agenda as well. Then on Sunday evening we head to north Georgia for the week!

Well. I've been literally falling asleep where I sit all day. It's about to happen now. Here's the meditation from 24 Hours...

I will discipline myself. I will do this disciplining now. I will turn out all useless thoughts. I know that the goodness of my life is a necessary foundation for its usefulness. I will welcome this training, for without it, God cannot give me His power. I believe that this power is a mighty power when it is used in the right way.

Interesting note- I did fall asleep while writing this. Bout to head to bed now. Good night!

Welcome 2012!

I just got back from seeing a live jazz trio at The Columns Hotel on St. Charles. I know it's nobody's fault but my own, but I got kind of weary of spending holidays alone so I went out and did something to celebrate. I must tell you up front that I celebrated with nothing more than cranberry and soda.... with a twist of lime.

Here are a few pics that I took with my phone. The camera on that thing is terrible. You'd expect more from a Blackberry. Especially a newer model.

I can assure you that I'm not normally that blurry. Geez. It looks like a circa 1970's picture of Bigfoot. Had a good time, though, and I made some new friends. Friends I'll probably never see again, but it was nice to have some interaction. One of the little things that recovery has given me is that I'm more social.

Anyway... I hope that you all have a blessed 2012. May the new year bring us love, prosperity, and happiness. I have big plans for my first full year of sobriety. The sky's the limit. I can now realistically concentrate on starting a family. An actual career. A home. Having a real life, being the man, and the provider I should have been years ago. I owe all that to God.

Once again. Best wishes. I hope we see a better world in the new year.... and not a Mayan apocalypse.

My Recovery, My Responsibility

I got to thinking today, as I often do out walking around. That's where alot of what I write comes from. Well, today it came to me that my recovery has become so much more than just something that I need to be doing. I thought, "It's kinda become my job." That word has a bit of an arduous ring to it, so I thought about it some more. Responsibility sounded much better. A responsibility that I take with great pleasure. A way of life. I have a responsibility to myself, to those I love, and to my Higher Power to make myself the best person I can possibly be. I have a responsibility to share what I learn with people who want the same way of life. And I have a responsibility to help any person who is less fortunate in any way I can. There you must find a balance. Recovery... Because without it I am no good to anyone. Family... Caring for and protecting the people who mean something in my life. Service... Comes from the heart and the fact that people have been of service to me. These are things that I take very seriously and get great joy from. I really am blessed.

The speaker at our group tonight was great. First of all, it was just really nice hearing a female perspective. I'd say we get guys about three quarters of the time. That's by no means a bad thing, it was just refreshing.

She was an older lady who took us around the world with her story. Some of it was happy and some was heart-wrenching. She had a glow about her, though, that told you she was happy and thankful for each of her 23 years sober. When I shared, I thanked her for such a wonderful account. I told her that her youthful enthusiasm was an enormous re-enforcement of just how well the program works. It almost reminded me of a child telling you about their favorite thing. (Didn't share that part...) I walked away with quite a bit.

The night's winding down, I'm here at the Rue with my coffee, and I think I'm about to go over to Netflix and watch an ep of The Walking Dead. Good show.

Goodnight, all.

A Huge Thank You

What am I grateful for? (And I thought I was going to have some trouble coming up with something to write about. Not at all, as you'll see.) Had a good meeting. Grateful for that. We talked about pessimism today. I shared that there are some dark clouds in my life right now. As far as my recovery and life success in general goes, I'm very optimistic. More than optimistic actually. I can see all the doors opening up for me. Already walked through a few of them. Working hard will ensure that those doors stay open. Just waiting on one more to open and everything will really start falling into place. It's a red door. With a butterfly knocker.

What else am I grateful for....? My health. Just got my blood pressure checked and it was in the normal range. I've lost a lot of weight the healthy way. I walk a lot and don't snack. Quitting smoking. Going to aim for tonight being my last smoke. Tried recently but the hold-up kinda threw me off schedule. Still have bad dreams over that. All in all, though, I believe I'm in really good shape.

Thankful for my sponsor and my program. I talk to Karl everyday. I can't thank him enough for the work he is doing with me. I'm grateful for AA and my program, without which, I'd either be dead or laying in a gutter somewhere. It's given me my life and all its infinite possibilities back. I'm thankful for the people I've helped so far. They help me heal. My meetings, sponsor, program, service work... it all helps keep me focused and serene.

I'm thankful to God for being able to wake up this morning and draw another breath. And for helping keep me sober for another day.

Last, and by no means least, I am thankful for you. The person who is reading this right now. My friends, family, and complete strangers. I write this blog for me. It's the best therapy I've ever had. I write it for you too. I write it for those it helps and for those who care enough to see how far I've made it. I am truly grateful and in complete awe at all the wonderful words every one of you have sent my way. You play a large role in keeping me on the straight and narrow. Teresa and Dad especially. Thank you for not giving up on me. There's one more person that I am so thankful for that words will never be enough to describe. She's sitting alone in an apartment right now, perhaps reading this. She is the best, kindest woman I've ever met. I like to think she's out there waiting... seeing what I'm going to do. I like to think that one day we'll be married with kids of our own and will have put the bad stuff far behind us. If she's willing or if there is even a chance, I couldn't be more grateful for anything else.