Jay's St. Patrick's Day That Was

It... was... a... never... ending... procession... of drunk people. I didn't find it a threat to my sobriety. Just the opposite. If I acted like some of the people I had to deal with today, I'd be red with shame. I'm not judging folks who drink responsibly and have a good time. It's the hundreds of people who trash the workplace, pee in the alleyway outside, flirt relentlessly, and challenge you when they are told something they don't want to hear. It went on for 8 HOURS STRAIGHT. Dealing with 30 and 40 year olds who act like they are in kindergarten.

Thank God I had someone to talk with that kept me in a decent frame of serenity. That's an awesome thing in recovery when you know that you have someone you can go to. Thanks Teresa and Karl!

It took today for me to further realize that after a certain age it's time to grow up. In my experience, the most successful people are the most boring people. I'd rather be boring with a family than stuck in some kind of sad Peter Pan syndrome.

Some may find me judgmental. Perhaps that's true on some level. I will, however, risk sounding like that by saying that I have a unique perspective on smart and irresponsible drinking.

I don't rant often on these pages. After all. I was one of those drunk people at one point in my life. I'm under no kind of illusion.

On the positive side, today is over for me. I later spent some time with some emotionally healthy people. Had some great food. And now I'm going to watch the rest of SNL.

It could have been a seriously fun day. I took some pics on my phone. Unfortunately I had no one to share the parade with. And I had to work a crappy job.

That's stuff I have within my power to change. Trust me. I will. I'm tired of being the mouse.

Don't worry. I'm feelin' good about things. Good night and God Bless!

My Recovery, My Responsibility

I got to thinking today, as I often do out walking around. That's where alot of what I write comes from. Well, today it came to me that my recovery has become so much more than just something that I need to be doing. I thought, "It's kinda become my job." That word has a bit of an arduous ring to it, so I thought about it some more. Responsibility sounded much better. A responsibility that I take with great pleasure. A way of life. I have a responsibility to myself, to those I love, and to my Higher Power to make myself the best person I can possibly be. I have a responsibility to share what I learn with people who want the same way of life. And I have a responsibility to help any person who is less fortunate in any way I can. There you must find a balance. Recovery... Because without it I am no good to anyone. Family... Caring for and protecting the people who mean something in my life. Service... Comes from the heart and the fact that people have been of service to me. These are things that I take very seriously and get great joy from. I really am blessed.

The speaker at our group tonight was great. First of all, it was just really nice hearing a female perspective. I'd say we get guys about three quarters of the time. That's by no means a bad thing, it was just refreshing.

She was an older lady who took us around the world with her story. Some of it was happy and some was heart-wrenching. She had a glow about her, though, that told you she was happy and thankful for each of her 23 years sober. When I shared, I thanked her for such a wonderful account. I told her that her youthful enthusiasm was an enormous re-enforcement of just how well the program works. It almost reminded me of a child telling you about their favorite thing. (Didn't share that part...) I walked away with quite a bit.

The night's winding down, I'm here at the Rue with my coffee, and I think I'm about to go over to Netflix and watch an ep of The Walking Dead. Good show.

Goodnight, all.