Three Things in Recovery

We're so glad to be free from liquor that we do something about it. We get into action. We come to meetings regularly. We go out and try to help other alcoholics. We pass on the good news whenever we get a chance. In a spirit of thankfulness to God, we get into action. The A.A. program is simple. Submit yourself to God, find release from liquor, and get into action. Do these things and keep doing them and you're all set for the rest of your life. Have I got into action?

Three things that contribute immensely to a successful recovery. Surrender, gratutude, and service.

When I surrendered my will and admitted that I could not recover on my own, my Higher Power stepped in and helped me with the guidance, will and strength necessary to overcome my character defects and steer clear of my addiction. Am I totally free of my flaws and completely absolved of my past behavior? Noooooooo..... Still more work to do and accountability to take.

That's where the third thing comes in. Service. Or action. Helping others in any way I can with whatever experience I can offer. Giving back some of what I've gotten. It helps me learn more about myself too.

Work went by fairly quickly. Am kinda looking forward to this Jazz Fest crowd to leave town. Maybe I should stop living in cities with high tourist traffic... LOL.

G'night, folks.

Androids and People In General

Uhhggggg.... Sinuses are going nuts. May be infected.

My boss sent me home with his Toshiba Android tablet. He couldn't get MP4's to play. I downloaded a media player that I believe is compatible and seems to work so far. I just hate being responsible for that device... Good test of responsibility, though. It's like the high school project where the students have to take care of an egg for a month. LOL... Seriously, it's cool that he trusted me with it.

I will practice love, because lack of love will block the way. I will try to see good in all people, those I like and also those who fret me and go against the grain. They are all children of God. I will try to give love; otherwise, how can I dwell in God's spirit whence nothing unloving can come? I will try to get along with all people, because the more love I give away, the more I will have.

That's the meditation for today. There was a time in my life when I was proud to proclaim my disdain for people in general. Once I opened up, though, and actually engaged people in conversation and fellowship, my self-esteem and serenity hit a new high. Folks respond so much more positively when you smile and say, "Hello", than when you grimace and keep on walking. It makes their day better too.

I pray every night to be put in a position where I can be of service. Sometimes a "How ya doin'?" is all it takes.

Anywho... I'm feelin' kinda cruddy, so I'm about to call it a night. Thank God I close tomorrow. I can sleep in and recuperate a bit.

Have a wonderful night, world...

God bless!

A Road Paved of Good Intentions

I love going to the men's group. I told someone earlier that it was a lot of laughing and cursing. It's a great fellowship of guys who like to cut up a little and talk about their recovery. I met my sponsor there too.

Our topic tonight was about service work. Someone shared something that stuck with me... "Intention doesn't get results, action does." Another guy quoted Yoda with one of my favorite pearls of wisdom, "Do... or do not. There is no 'try'." Basically... Service requires action.

Or does it?

The discussion reminded me of last night's step study. I thought of my initial reaction to hearing what the newcomer was saying. I shared about it tonight. That what I would have done previously was run right to him after the meeting and say, "Ok! This is what you need to do!" This particular situation, however, required more humility from me than it did knowledge. I'm in absolutely no position right now to give this guy advice. Maybe a little ways down the road, but not now.

I wished him the best, kept my mouth shut after that, and let God and someone with alot more experience handle it. In a nutshell, I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes you have to realize that your best intentions can do more harm than good. There was once a time for me, as well, that those intentions were bred more from ego than from a genuine willingness to help.

The rest of the day was good too. Started the food drive benefiting Second Harvest of New Orleans. If you live in the area, the food drop is in the Walgreen's at 3227 Magazine St. My theme is "The Other 363- Hunger Still Happens After The Holidays". They recommend that you have a theme. :)

Gotta lot of work to do tonight, so I'm going to get to it. Goodnight, all and have a great tomorrow!

Service and Perfectionism

Today had it's ups and downs, but it was a good one overall. It was a very special day that I was not able to take part in, though. But... We take accountability for our actions and we learn from them. And we accept the consequences.

Work was a little more eventful than usual. We had a guy in the dumpster pulling out food. Our boss went out, confronted him and basically ran him off. I was asked to watch him until he was gone. The guy apologized and said he hadn't eaten today. There was a buttload of unopened food in the trash. Not being able to do much for him, and knowing he had to eat, I told him to grab what he could carry. Also if he was going to come back for the rest, he should do it after 6 0r 7 pm. I know it seems gross or humiliating to let someone take that stuff, but he may not have eaten otherwise.

It's sad as hell and says something about our society when a poor person thanks you for turning your head when they go through the garbage.

Then, an elderly lady that I know and like fairly well had some kind of spell out front. We couldn't tell if she was having a stroke, a blood pressure drop, or a diabetic episode. She'd gone cold and clammy, unresponsive but somewhat aware, and her pulse was weak when I checked it. Her pupils didn't dilate, which was good. About as quick as it started, she came back. Pulse was ok again, she was able to communicate... She didn't seem to remember it, so I told her she'd spaced out and wasn't talking to me, which was just rude. She chuckled and at about that time the ambulance pulled up.

I ask God to put me in situations where I can be of some kind of service to others, and today he didn't disappoint.

Got to my meeting waaaayyy early, so I stopped at the park and enjoyed the serenity. When I got to where we meet, I was asked to read the preamble. Thinking I had enough time before the meeting started, I ran down the street to pick up something to fix for dinner. I got back to my seat just in time. Trying to catch my breath, I read. I love reading and giving out chips.

The moderator was a guy I know pretty well. I always enjoy listening to him speak. His topic was perfectionism. One person shared that "great" is the enemy of "good". Eh... I can kinda see that. Another shared that perfectionism is an endless quest because it can never be attained. I liked that more. Most just shared about their close calls with drinking over the holidays. I spoke a bit. Talked about how hard they've been, but thankfully, I haven't had any problems with wanting to go back out.

Anyway... I'm off tomorrow and I have a lot to do. I will, however, sleep in a bit. Looking forward to that.

Goodnight, all.

My Unique Opportunity

Just got back uptown from the Mustard Seed. Had to cut my share short because I'm still coughing a little. The topic was from 24 Hours a Day...

December 15, 2011

Service to others makes the world a good place. Civilization would cease if all of us were always and only for ourselves. We alcoholics have a wonderful opportunity to contribute to the well-being of the world. We have a common problem. We find a common answer. We are uniquely equipped to help others with the same problem. What a wonderful world it would be if everybody took his own greatest problem and found the answer to it and spent the rest of his life helping others with the same problem in his spare time. Soon we would have the right kind of a world. Do I appreciate my unique opportunity to be of service?

I pray about a lot at night. One of the things I pray for is to be put in situations where I can be of service throughout the day. To fellow alcoholics or anyone who's in a rough spot. I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I miss those opportunities. Sometimes I'm preoccupied with my own stuff that's going on at the moment. The other night I was heading back to where I'm staying from work. A lady stopped me on St. Charles Ave. She hadn't yet gotten her first paycheck from her new job and needed money to buy her kids something to eat. It was late and I couldn't think of any resources for her that were open at that hour. I told her about some places that might be able to help, but she'd have to wait til morning. Apologizing and telling her that was about all I could do, I turned and started back down the street. I made it about half a block and stopped. "Was there anything else I could do? I pray about this and the opportunity is here." I then remembered the handful of change in my back pocket. Honestly, I'd forgotten I even had it. I went back to where we were, and she was still standing there. I gave it to her and told her about some of the nearby 24 hour stores. She'd probably only be able to buy ramen noodles, but it would be sustenance until the next day.

Stopped and looked at cars on the way back up. Just to get an idea of what I needed to do to prepare. Sitting at CC's right now drinking ginger peach tea. I'll probably be here til I go to my homegroup tonight. Gonna listen to music and do research. It's nice to be able to sit and chill out.

I'll write more tonight as always. Have an awesome day!

My Recovery, My Responsibility

I got to thinking today, as I often do out walking around. That's where alot of what I write comes from. Well, today it came to me that my recovery has become so much more than just something that I need to be doing. I thought, "It's kinda become my job." That word has a bit of an arduous ring to it, so I thought about it some more. Responsibility sounded much better. A responsibility that I take with great pleasure. A way of life. I have a responsibility to myself, to those I love, and to my Higher Power to make myself the best person I can possibly be. I have a responsibility to share what I learn with people who want the same way of life. And I have a responsibility to help any person who is less fortunate in any way I can. There you must find a balance. Recovery... Because without it I am no good to anyone. Family... Caring for and protecting the people who mean something in my life. Service... Comes from the heart and the fact that people have been of service to me. These are things that I take very seriously and get great joy from. I really am blessed.

The speaker at our group tonight was great. First of all, it was just really nice hearing a female perspective. I'd say we get guys about three quarters of the time. That's by no means a bad thing, it was just refreshing.

She was an older lady who took us around the world with her story. Some of it was happy and some was heart-wrenching. She had a glow about her, though, that told you she was happy and thankful for each of her 23 years sober. When I shared, I thanked her for such a wonderful account. I told her that her youthful enthusiasm was an enormous re-enforcement of just how well the program works. It almost reminded me of a child telling you about their favorite thing. (Didn't share that part...) I walked away with quite a bit.

The night's winding down, I'm here at the Rue with my coffee, and I think I'm about to go over to Netflix and watch an ep of The Walking Dead. Good show.

Goodnight, all.

Blue Jeans and Church

Got up, showered, shaved, and went to church this morning. As I approached the front steps a feeling of serenity swept over me. Forgetting the fact that I was in jeans and tennis shoes, I actually smiled a little bit. The folks I shook hands with on the way in seemed a bit shocked, but I wasn't there to impress them. Hey. I was wearing a nice shirt....

I really like Trinity Episcopal. It's always a beautiful service. I'm not looking to join, though. That's a decision I'll make with you know who when and if she feels ready. But for now, I will continue where I'm at. I've found that going to just about any church in the past weeks has served to calm my soul, center me spiritually, and help me reconnect with God. I tend to take something from every sermon too. Things that help enrich me in everyday living. It's something that has helped not only in my life, but also in my recovery. I've finally started opening up to things that I'd desperately and obstinately avoided before. I'll be writing about openness and willingness soon. It's made me a happier person.

So what did I learn today? The sermon centered around the Parable of the Talents. (Oddly, so did the one at Dad and Teresa's church.) Now I took something a bit different from the story than I'm sure everyone else did. Reaping and sowing.... or more in the correct order, sowing and reaping. We all know that we reap what we sow. We get back just as much as we give. Common knowledge, but not everyone adheres to it. Myself included for such a long time. Something else that occurred to me during the service was that we can't reap what we don't sow. I sowed alot of nothing for years. And hurt alot of people. It's never too late, though, and now I'm working that garden like I never have before.

Okey doke. Bout to call my sponsor and see if we're going to that meeting tonight. If not, I'll just go to my usual one. I'll post again sometime this evening.

I guess I wasn't dressed too badly.