Friends and Family

Having gotten over drinking, we have only just begun to enjoy the benefits of A.A. We find new friends, so that we are no longer lonely. We find new relationships with our families, so that we are happy at home. We find release from our troubles and worries through a new way of looking at things. We find an outlet for our energies in helping other people. Am I enjoying these benefits of A.A.?

I have found many friends in the program! People from literally all walks of life that you would never normally find yourself stopping and shaking hands with on the street. Businessmen, doctors, celebrities... some are people who don't have a pot to piss in. But we are all united in the program and under a common goal. Saving ourselves... and each other.

My family life is so much better too. I talk to family members that I haven't talked to in years. Some family I never really talked to that I'm always glad to hear from now. Relationships with my close family are better than ever and Cupcake and I are earnestly working on things. :)

Gonna head to bed early so I can see Sarah off tomorrow. Have a great night!

Long-Term Dialogue

"Fine friendship requires duration rather than fitful intensity." —Aristotle

Once we have embarked upon this program, we find spiritual recovery through relationships more than any other single factor. We find it through relationships with other people, with ourselves, and with our Higher Power. But most men in recovery need to learn how to be in a relationship. We have to give up ideas that a friendship is an intense connection or a conflict-free blending of like minds.

A meaningful friendship is a long-term dialogue. If there is conflict or if we make a mistake or fail to do what our friend wants of us, we don't end the friendship. We simply have the next exchange to resolve the differences. Our dialogue continues over time, and time - along with many amends - builds the bond. With it develops a deepening sense of reliability and trusting one another. When we have lived with our friend through many experiences - or with our Higher Power - we gain a feeling that we really know him or her in a way we could never have in a brief intense connection.

Today, I will do what I need to do to be reliable in my friendships.

I'll tell ya right now... I've never been the best friend to anyone. I was always too selfish and worried about what my friends could do for me. I've had some really good friends, though. My brother and I were just reminiscing tonight about our old adventures in Auburn. I kid ya not... Some of the stuff we texted back and forth about, you couldn't possibly make up. Anyway, that got me thinking about some of the folks we hung out with coming up and some of my old school friends. Most were really good people who enjoyed hanging out and running the backwoods of Alabama. Folks who really enjoyed my company... at least until they got tired of my ego. Alot of us still keep in touch through FB, which I'm very grateful for. A few I haven't heard from in decades.

I like the part of the Touchstones passage that says, "A meaningful friendship is a long-term dialogue."

There are people that I've known since childhood who, no matter how bratty or crappy I've acted in the past, still talk to me today, and I think that is one of the coolest gifts an undeserving person could get!

Goodnight....

Life and What You Put Into It

As I look back over my drinking career, have I learned that you take out of life what you put into it? When I put drinking into my life, did I take out a lot of bad things? Hospitals with the D.T.'s? Jails for drunken driving? Loss of job? Loss of home and family? When I put drinking into my life, was almost everything I took out bad?

I didn't get much out of life spending those days walled up, drinking one bottle after another. Didn't contribute much to the folks around me either. It was just one catastrophe after another. Lose a job, get another, start to rebuild, then knock it all down again.

With alcohol out of the equation it's so much easier to focus on the tasks at hand. Relationships are so much more fulfilling. Life is easier to deal with on it's own terms.

Work went well today. Talked to my uncle and he is doing a lot better. Gotta be up early tomorrow, so I'll be hitting the hay early. Looking forward to my homegroup and taco salad Thursday!

Goodnight...

Give Yourself Some Credit

You are a human being. You are capable of wonderful, spectacular things. Nothing we do that is truly worthwhile is possible without the grace of God. Don't sell yourself short, though.

God has given us the power of choice and freewill. The good we do in this world comes from us... with His guidance. And we do our good in His name.

God is all around us. His spirit pervades the universe. And yet we often do not let His spirit in. We try to get along without His help and we make a mess of our lives. We can do nothing of any value without God's help. All our human relationships depend on this. When we let God's spirit rule our lives, we learn how to get along with others and how to help them.

I've found that I could not have been of truly effective service without His help. Nor could I help myself without the guidance of that Higher Power.

You are your own person. That's God's gift. So what are you going to do with it?

Goodnight :)

6 Months Old

Wow. Doesn't feel like it's been that long. How did I do it? Well... The thought for the day just about sums it up.

When we alcoholics first come into A.A. and we face the fact that we must spend the rest of our life without liquor, it often seems like an impossibility to us. So A.A. tells us to forget about the future and take it one day at a time. All we really have is now. We have no past time and no future time. As the saying goes: "Yesterday is gone, forget it; tomorrow never comes, don't worry; today is here, get busy." All we have is the present. The past is gone forever and the future never comes. When tomorrow gets here, it will be today. Am I living one day at a time?

We can't live our lives stressed about the future or a possible outcome that may never be. We can't live our lives haunted by a past we can't change. We can only learn from it.

I have today. With God's help I know I wont drink. I know that I can maintain my serenity and complete the tasks at hand. I know that I'm a more effective, more productive person.

I've done alot in these 6 months. Made my quality of life much better, did 12 life-changing steps, and have mended some relationships that I had neglected before.

I thank God and the folks who stood behind me for making it possible.

Have a great night, world!

Much love. -Jay

St. Patrick's and Serenity

Man what a long day! And tomorrow is going to be an insane asylum. St. Patrick's Day in New Orleans.... I work right on the parade route too. As I was telling someone earlier, I'll be bringing my Serenity Prayer with me. ;) It'll be stressful, but it will go by quick.

I must have a singleness of purpose to do my part in God's work. I must not let material distractions interfere with my job of improving personal relation ships. It is easy to become distracted by material affairs, so that I lose my singleness of purpose. I do not have time to be concerned about the multifarious concerns of the world. I must concentrate and specialize on what I can do best.

I love the meditation for the day. There was a time when I used material and trivial things as an escape. Those things seriously got in the way of my growth and my relationships. These days if I see something in my life that's holding me back or that I may be getting unhealthily pre-occupied with, I make a conscious effort to either cut back on it or cut it out completely. Facebook is a good example.

Anyways... I have to get some rest. I can feel my eyes getting heavy as I'm writing this.

Have a great night and a blessed tomorrow!

Humble Pie

Homegroup went really well tonight. Bit of a small crowd, though. I did get my literature for next week's H&I, and I have two speakers who volunteered. Can't wait!

I would like to talk about last night's post for a moment. Something has been weighing kinda heavily on me today. One of the paragraphs seemed a bit boastful. When I asked someone about it this morning, she agreed. The idea I was trying to convey was that traveling and living a fancy free lifestyle isn't worth sacrificing relationships with loved ones. I could have worded that much more humbly... And more truthfully. Most of my running around and partying was at the expense of others. Figuratively and literally. I never accepted any consequences for my actions, so they were left on the people who loved me. And for that I am eternally sorry. Hopefully, in some way, my new actions can make up for some of it.

I've been waiting all day to say that. And it's been a long day. Got up very early, went to work, and then to my meeting. Pretty tired, so I'll probably hit the hay soon. I still encourage anyone who sees something askew, or something I've missed in my writing to call me on it.

Well. I'm going to start winding down... Goodnight, world.

Out of Touch

It's been a bit of an odd day. Found out about some of my high school classmates who have passed over the years. It was a little shocking and sad to hear. Being away from where I raised for so long has kept me seriously out of touch. Until Myspace and Facebook came along, I hadn't talked to alot of friends and family for over a decade. So there is something to be said for social networking.

When I jetted out of Alabama, I never looked back. Traveled around the world, lived around the continent, and drank alot. Some people envy that lifestyle, but I learned the hard way that it usually just leads to loneliness. I never built any real relationships, and neglected the ones I already had. Heck. Sometimes a year or so would go by before I saw any of my family. That was my own choice, though. Pretty selfish... trading substance for a seat-of-your-pants, adventurous ideal. Do I regret it? Not necessarily. The things I saw and did were fantastic to say the least. Could I have gone about it in a better way? Most definitely.

My grandfather from my Dad's previous marriage passed away not too long ago. I hadn't talked to him in many years either. I suppose I figured (in my own sick way) that after the divorce I wasn't really part of the family anymore. My brother convinced me to visit them after the funeral. When I was told that he'd asked about me often, and they still kept pictures of me in the house, I was overcome with guilt and shame. A nasty concoction of pride and fear kept me away from folks who still loved me.

Talked to someone earlier today, a cousin from the same family, who told me of another passing. I didn't know her well, but was still sad to hear about her going. When the cousin sent me a message to call him, I felt that same anxiety come up. "I haven't talked to him in years." "What do I say?" For once I put all of that aside and called. I'm glad I did. Even though the circumstances were bad, it was good talking to him.

You probably gather by now that I've had alot on my mind. I think I've learned a little more about myself. With that said, it's getting late, and I have to be up very early. Until tomorrow, dear reader, goodnight and God bless.

5 Months In!

Didn't make any parades today. The day ones were postponed because of the weather. Works out kinda well, though. I had to work, and they were moved to times that I could see them. Still not sure if Endymion ran. That's the evening parade. I have my own special reason for not caring about that one.

In other news... Today marks 5 months of recovery for me! I am so blessed to have such an awesome support system. Without God, my sponsor, and my peeps, it wouldn't have been possible. I am so grateful to you all.

After I became an alcoholic, alcohol poisoned my love for my family and friends, it poisoned my ambition, it poisoned my self-respect. It poisoned my whole life, until I met A.A. My life is happier now than it has been for a long time. I don't want to commit suicide. So with the help of God and A.A., I'm not going to take any more of that alcoholic poison into my system. And I'm going to keep training my mind never even to think of liquor again in any way except as a poison. Do I believe that liquor will poison my life if I ever touch it again?

That's today's thought. Sort of along the same line as yesterday's, but no less poignant. Alcohol did poison my love and relationships. I am very fortunate that my people stuck by me. I certainly don't deserve the faith that has been put upon me, but am proud to say that this time around that faith is well-placed. Thank you, again!

Gonna watch the rest of this documentary on the Mardi Gras Indians then turn in.

Have a good night and a blessed tomorrow! Peace....

Old Habits Die Hard Pt. 5- Lust (Cornerstone Sermon 02-12-12)

Pastor Hutson assures us that, given the proximity to a certain notable day, this is just the order in which the sermon fell. Still relevant to love and relationships... among other things. Anything that is introduced to us that we want, that is unattainable, that will ultimately never satisfy us, but we still want it so bad causes lust. Like in addiction, I chased something that was destructive, was temporary relief at best, and only one never satisfied me. As they say, "One's too many and a thousand is never enough."

He brought up an interesting analogy... People who are lost at sea will often eventually start drinking sea water. They get so thirsty they convince themselves that it will be ok. Well, the more they drink, the thirstier they get. They keep drinking and eventually it kills them. Sounds kinda familiar.

Click on the link below to hear the sermon. I got a lot out of it.... Much of it deals with relationships, and I can always use advice on that!

Old Habits Die Hard Pt. 5- Lust

The stats that he presents at the beginning about human trafficking is both mind-blowing and scary. It's disgusting that some part of our society has created a very lucrative market for this.

Listening to this was an awesome way to start my day, and I have quite a bit to do. I'll be posting a little something special later on when I get back.

Until then... Have a great day!