Sticks and Bricks

We had a really good speaker at homegroup tonight. Something he said jumped out at me. He talked about what our recovery is built on. The house that stands for a hundred years is built on a strong foundation.

I immediately thought of a children's story that I'm sure we're all familiar with... My recovery is only as strong as what I put into it. If I build straw or stick houses, the wolf (my own pride and complacency) is going to keep coming back to blow them down. Hard work, diligence, and faith are the things bricks are made of.

Our Higher Power, however, is the strongest part of that foundation. My previous meeting today was another speaker meeting. She brought up the meditation from 24 Hours A Day. I think it relates pretty well to that aspect of what we all discussed tonight...

"Hallowed be Thy Name." What does that mean to us? Here "name" is used in the sense of "spirit." The words mean praise to God for His spirit in the world, making us better. We should be especially grateful for God's spirit, which gives us the strength to overcome all that is base in our lives. His spirit is powerful. It can help us to live a conquering, abundant life. So we praise and thank Him for His spirit in our lives and in the lives of others.

Well. It's getting late and I'm pretty pooped. Today was a great day in recovery. Good night, all, and God Bless.

Hope and Faith

The A.A. program is one of faith, hope, and charity. It's a program of hope because when new members come into A.A., the first thing they get is hope. They hear older members tell how they had been through the same kind of hell that they have and how they found the way out through A.A. And this gives them hope that if others can do it, they can do it. Is hope still strong in me?

My hope wavers sometimes. That's when I have to step back and remember to live in the now. It can be a little overwhelming at moments trying to rebuild and redesign a life....

Sometimes things seem to be moving too slowly, or not at all. That's where patience and hard work come into practice.

What reinforces my hope and faith? Seeing how much better things work out and how much easier life is when I keep an even keel and avoid the choppy waters the best I can. Also, like the thought says, seeing firsthand how well other folks are doing by sticking with their programs, following their Higher Power, and living their lives differently.

Sure. It sounds like a lot of work... and it is. But I've found that after time, these things become second nature.

Got a couple of days off that I want to make very productive and I have to be up early, so I'm going to turn in.

Have a good night and God Bless!

Your Higher Power and A Prayer for the Dying

Strength comes from coming to believe in a Higher Power that can help you. You can't define this Higher Power, but you can see how it helps other alcoholics. You hear them talk about it and you begin to get the idea yourself. You try praying in a quiet time each morning and you begin to feel stronger, as though your prayers were heard. So you gradually come to believe there must be a Power in the world outside yourself, which is stronger than you and to which you can turn for help. Am I receiving strength from my faith in a Higher Power?

I was having an interesting conversation earlier. It became a debate. Pride told this person that he could define God. I maintained my position that God was indefinable. That great of a cosmic presence is well beyond our human comprehension. But He's there. Of that I have no doubt.

I pray and have immovable faith that my Higher Power has got my back. I see his work everyday in my life.

On a separate note (possibly very relevant), I have two uncles in distress. One is going to join my grandparents... most likely within the next 24 hours. The other is going to experience a very serious life change soon. It's been a long day, and I'm very tired.

Time for bed. Pray for those people who are lying in a hospital. Pray for the people who really know that they may not be here tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Confession Through Sharing

Strength comes from honestly telling your own experiences with drinking. In religion, they call it confession. We call it witnessing or sharing. You give a personal witness, you share your past experiences, the troubles you got into, the hospitals, the jails, the break up of your home, the money wasted, the debts, and all the foolish things you did when you were drinking. This personal witness lets out the things you had kept hidden, brings them out into the open, and you find release and strength. Am I receiving strength from my personal witnessing?

That's why I share at every meeting that I can. Even if I'm telling the same story over again, it helps me. That is one of the reasons they call it a selfish program.

I was talking to someone earlier about the 5th Step. That's when you tell your life story to a second party. It could be God, it could be a priest, or it could be your sponsor. Heck. It could be a stranger on the street. I chose my sponsor... and for good reason. God already knows my life story. Your sponsor is someone that your Higher Power put here to guide you. The more they know about you (and your skeletons) the better. The more effectively they can serve you.

After the steps, sponsorship is a vital service to newcomers. That's why I don't take it lightly. That's why I didn't stampede right into sponsorship when I finished those steps. People's lives are at stake.

Well. It's very late, and I need to go to bed. Have a great night and keep the faith!

Faith and Strength

We strengthen our faith by working with other alcoholics and finding that we can do nothing ourselves to help them, except to tell them our own story of how we found the way out. If the other person is helped, it's by the grace of God and not by what we do or say. Our own faith is strengthened when we see another alcoholic find sobriety by turning to God. And finally we strengthen our faith by having quiet times every morning. Do I ask God in this quiet time for the strength to stay sober this day?

That's what I love about H&I. We go into hospitals and institutions and talk to the clients. We don't preach or throw around advice. Instead we tell our stories. We talk about the program, what it means to us, and where we are now. Afterward we answer questions to the best of our ability and offer support. We express our gratitude to our Higher Power and explain how recovery would be impossible without him.

And faith? My faith is strengthened whenever I see a newcomer introduce themselves at the beginning of a meeting or an old-timer pick up a 30 year chip.

My quiet times are right before I go to sleep and first thing in the morning before getting up. I pray for strength and guidance. I ask God for help because I know that without him, there's no telling where I would be.

Speaking of sleep... I'm headed that way soon. May try and watch Saturday Night Live first. Enjoy your evening and have a great day tomorrow!

5 Months In!

Didn't make any parades today. The day ones were postponed because of the weather. Works out kinda well, though. I had to work, and they were moved to times that I could see them. Still not sure if Endymion ran. That's the evening parade. I have my own special reason for not caring about that one.

In other news... Today marks 5 months of recovery for me! I am so blessed to have such an awesome support system. Without God, my sponsor, and my peeps, it wouldn't have been possible. I am so grateful to you all.

After I became an alcoholic, alcohol poisoned my love for my family and friends, it poisoned my ambition, it poisoned my self-respect. It poisoned my whole life, until I met A.A. My life is happier now than it has been for a long time. I don't want to commit suicide. So with the help of God and A.A., I'm not going to take any more of that alcoholic poison into my system. And I'm going to keep training my mind never even to think of liquor again in any way except as a poison. Do I believe that liquor will poison my life if I ever touch it again?

That's today's thought. Sort of along the same line as yesterday's, but no less poignant. Alcohol did poison my love and relationships. I am very fortunate that my people stuck by me. I certainly don't deserve the faith that has been put upon me, but am proud to say that this time around that faith is well-placed. Thank you, again!

Gonna watch the rest of this documentary on the Mardi Gras Indians then turn in.

Have a good night and a blessed tomorrow! Peace....

Sailing the Seas of Truth

About to head out for lunch and then work. Today has been alot better than yesterday by far.

I have to work late, so tonight's will be a pretty late post. Wanted to read today's meditation before leaving. It was very profound and summed up what my life was like for a very long time...

Lying can be like sailing choppy waters. The more we lie, the higher the waves get, and the harder the sailing. When we lie, we feel we've failed ourselves and others. We have to work hard to cover up our lies, and the fear of someone finding out is always with us.

If we ask God for courage to tell the truth, we can be like the sailboat on a clear and calm day. We can enjoy the small waves and the light warm breeze we've given ourselves. Honesty is a good habit, and is easy. With a little faith in our own worth, we can choose the calm waters' honesty and apply our creativity to new, growth-oriented activities instead of covering up old mistakes.

How can I smooth my waters right now?

I plan to smooth my waters today by being the best Jay that I can possibly be. With honesty, courage, and faith there is nothing I can't accomplish... And I consider everyday lived well an accomplishment.

My Aching Back

Had a blast today running from one side of New Orleans to the other. Literally. I traveled from Riverbend to the Marigny and back. But man did it pay off. Found me an awesome place on Napoleon at the last minute. The other places I looked at were... not very appealing.

Goes to show how our Higher Power works in our lives. I am truly grateful.

Wasn't able to make a meeting today because of all the chaos, but I am very much looking forward to my homegroup tomorrow night.

Well. It was a stressful day, but I maintained and kept the faith. Bout to blow up my air mattress and maybe watch The Daily Show on my computer. Oh. I didn't mention the place didn't come furnished? Something I failed to ask beforehand. Quite alright, though. As soon as I saw it, I knew I'd better grab it before someone else did.

Carpe diem, my friends.