Life and What You Put Into It

As I look back over my drinking career, have I learned that you take out of life what you put into it? When I put drinking into my life, did I take out a lot of bad things? Hospitals with the D.T.'s? Jails for drunken driving? Loss of job? Loss of home and family? When I put drinking into my life, was almost everything I took out bad?

I didn't get much out of life spending those days walled up, drinking one bottle after another. Didn't contribute much to the folks around me either. It was just one catastrophe after another. Lose a job, get another, start to rebuild, then knock it all down again.

With alcohol out of the equation it's so much easier to focus on the tasks at hand. Relationships are so much more fulfilling. Life is easier to deal with on it's own terms.

Work went well today. Talked to my uncle and he is doing a lot better. Gotta be up early tomorrow, so I'll be hitting the hay early. Looking forward to my homegroup and taco salad Thursday!

Goodnight...

Go Out and Do

Never give up that child within you. The one who finds wonder in the simplest, everyday things. The inner kid who looks in the distance and says, "Wow. I want to see what that place is like." Even if it's driving 20 minutes down the road to sit in a park you've never been to.

This world is so big. You only get one shot at experiencing it through your limited human eyes.

I guess my challenge for tonight is to do one thing this week that you have never done. Whether it's a family activity, or just broadening your own horizons....

Just go out and do.

Take advantage of the one earthly life God has given you.

How Far Are You Willing To Go?

That was the question tonight at my homegroup.... And I was actually able to share without coughing.

For years I didn't go neeeeaaaarly far enough. I shared about my times in treatment when I thought I was recovering, but was really more interested in being a know-it-all amateur counselor or the head of my clique. I think we see a pattern of ego rather than humility there. That has been one of my biggest adversaries in the past years. Lack of humility. My self-will told me I could do it on my own... or that I was doing it on my own. I could certainly talk the talk and convince people that I was doing what I needed to be doing. Ends up that the biggest person I was fooling was myself. As a result, when it came time to visit my old friend Mr. Smirnoff, I barely gave it a second thought. I'd tell myself no. Not being in active recovery, however, it really wasn't up to me. I was in the grip of addiction. Being in recovery, though, was up to me.

So. How far am I going now? Let me tell you what I did today. I got up and walked downtown for the Mustard Seed meeting. Got there early and set up. Then I walked back uptown and wrote in this very blog. Listened to some music and did a little research. Web-surfed for a bit. Picked up some cough drops afterward and went straight to my other meeting. Talked to a girl who is in a nearby treatment facility after group was done about her first Christmas without her dad. Came here to the Rue and contacted my sponsor about hooking up Saturday morning to talk about my 8th and 9th steps. Now I'm writing again.... And I will pray tonight thanking my Higher Power for, among other things, another day sober.

I've been actively and enthusiastically going to meetings since before I came back to New Orleans. As soon as I got back here, I snagged a great sponsor. We started working the steps not long after that. Started this blog not long after getting back too. It helps me immensely and it helps others. I do service work and I volunteer. I got reconnected with God. I've changed how I go about doing things. And there's more... That's how far I gone and come. Never been neeeaaarrrly this far into it before. Yeah, there's still work to do. Life is life, and it will still suck sometimes.

There's nothing I can't deal with, however, if I keep working an honest and earnest recovery.

Goodnight, world.

Short Meetings and Busy Days

Just came out of the Mustard Seed. It was a 17 minute meeting. Weren't many there. Just a handful of us regulars. Someone asked me if it was worth the walk. I answered, "Yeah. It was worth it. I needed to be there." And it was. Just sitting there for that short amount of time helped center me. Plus I have a men's group tonight.

This wont be a long post. Busy day. I have my sponsor to meet, some second job searchin', and of course that later meeting. Will post about the rest of my day after that.

At Mustard Seed we talked about how sticking to the program has not only kept us from drinking, but has also enriched our lives. I've been keeping my nose to the grindstone and it has helped me in ways no one can imagine. I have a two month chip coming up next week. I also have my life back. Almost..... but I'm working on that. It's enriched so many of my relationships too, and I thank God for that. Hopefully it's enriching the most important one as well, but I can't be there to see it. Or talk about it.

I have my ups and downs, but things are going very well. And I am thankful.