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Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Hello world!

I'm back, and I'm bad! Obviously, within certain
sensible pre-set parameters... -Kryten (Red Dwarf)

I've been incredibly selfish by letting this blog go. A lot of it was my fault. Believe it or not, though, with a bit of influence from a couple of other people. I've strayed quite a bit... perhaps I should capitalize one of those words... QUITE a bit.

Not going to self-deprecate as much as I used to. That will be one change. That kind of behavior can hinder one's progress. I'm not going to post everyday, and the posts won't always be about addiction.

I want my blog to be about life, honesty, and love.

That said I have a few things to clear up. I went out of control for over a year. I used death, relationships (one in particular), and loss of hope as an excuse to go ape-shit bonkers. More things I want to clear up regarding my recovery...

My Higher Power- It's going to be science. I thrive on facts, and the facts are horrifying. That's enough alone to make a reasonable person want to genuinely put down the bottle and straighten up.

Faith- Doing what you know is right and expecting positive rewards. This is true. Every person I know who leads a good, selfless life thrives and is generally happy.

AA- Awesome resource for support and development.

Lament of Prior Relationships- New Orleans has been a bitter-sweet home for me. It's my favorite city, but makes me incredibly sad. It seemed like everywhere I went reminded me of a shared experience that eventually turned into bad memories. Things that I love and shared with various women are mine again. I reclaim Doctor Who, The Cure, Riverview Park, and Sriracha sauce (among other stuff).

Sure. I'm mad. I am, however, trying to channel my emotions toward more positive things.

And with that, I say, "Good day". :) I hope I don't disappoint again.


  1. Jay, my prayer and hope is that you find your "missing piece" in this world so that you may be happy and productive. You have so much to offer. I love you and so does your Dad. Your family loves you but because of your past behavior, they have to love you from a safe distance. I hope you can understand that. Glad to see you blogging again. You need not worry so much about disappointing others as much as disappointing yourself. Stay safe and keep in touch. Teresa

  2. I would feel remiss if I didn't mention this. It's not aimed at my fam at all. I'm perfectly capable of carrying on by myself. Be very wary of tough love tho. Rarely does anyone learn from it. I've actually seen people die as a result. A good friend of mine laments every day she tried to teach her daughter by not being there. I had to do CPR on her because of an overdose. Couldn't bring her back.