My Unique Opportunity

Just got back uptown from the Mustard Seed. Had to cut my share short because I'm still coughing a little. The topic was from 24 Hours a Day...

December 15, 2011

Service to others makes the world a good place. Civilization would cease if all of us were always and only for ourselves. We alcoholics have a wonderful opportunity to contribute to the well-being of the world. We have a common problem. We find a common answer. We are uniquely equipped to help others with the same problem. What a wonderful world it would be if everybody took his own greatest problem and found the answer to it and spent the rest of his life helping others with the same problem in his spare time. Soon we would have the right kind of a world. Do I appreciate my unique opportunity to be of service?

I pray about a lot at night. One of the things I pray for is to be put in situations where I can be of service throughout the day. To fellow alcoholics or anyone who's in a rough spot. I'll be the first to admit that sometimes I miss those opportunities. Sometimes I'm preoccupied with my own stuff that's going on at the moment. The other night I was heading back to where I'm staying from work. A lady stopped me on St. Charles Ave. She hadn't yet gotten her first paycheck from her new job and needed money to buy her kids something to eat. It was late and I couldn't think of any resources for her that were open at that hour. I told her about some places that might be able to help, but she'd have to wait til morning. Apologizing and telling her that was about all I could do, I turned and started back down the street. I made it about half a block and stopped. "Was there anything else I could do? I pray about this and the opportunity is here." I then remembered the handful of change in my back pocket. Honestly, I'd forgotten I even had it. I went back to where we were, and she was still standing there. I gave it to her and told her about some of the nearby 24 hour stores. She'd probably only be able to buy ramen noodles, but it would be sustenance until the next day.

Stopped and looked at cars on the way back up. Just to get an idea of what I needed to do to prepare. Sitting at CC's right now drinking ginger peach tea. I'll probably be here til I go to my homegroup tonight. Gonna listen to music and do research. It's nice to be able to sit and chill out.

I'll write more tonight as always. Have an awesome day!

Doing Things Differently... and Ramen Noodles

Wow. So glad I made it to the meeting on time. It was a nice little crowd. The older lady who moderates often was there too. She's a gentle soul who just emanates kindness. I always feel right at home when I see her and hear what she has to say.

Her topic today was a bit split. Dealing with the upcoming holiday season and going back and forth from the program until you actually get it. As far as the holidays, I mentioned that I may very well be by myself and I'm responsible for that. Not something to drink over though. I was, however, anxious to share because the "going back and forth" part has been something I'd dealt with over the past several years. Certain tendencies and attitudes coupled with complacency invariably led me from any recovery I may have been trying to start. And that led to drinking. I've talked about the symptoms of a dry drunk in a previous post. One was "less participation in a 12 step program, or dropping out altogether". That was me. Hello. I'm Jay and I'm an alcoholic.

I told everyone that I didn't want to use words like "changed" or "get it now" because I've used those words so many times before. I'm doing my recovery differently than my half-assed attempts in the past and it's working. You could say that I AM actually working my recovery. I'm following the guidelines that are set out by the program and have become a much better person for it.

So what are things that I've noticed about myself lately? I'm more direct with people, but in a healthy way. I no longer obsess with trivial things to escape reality. I make more conscious decisions before reacting in certain situations. And I have a clearer path in planning for the future. Those are just a few that stand out.

Still not perfect. Still have a lot of work in all aspects of my life... but who doesn't. I'm thankful for today and looking forward to all the great things the future will bring. And I'm sick of ramen noodles. I'm going to New Orleans Hamburgers and Seafood for lunch tomorrow, dammit. ;)

I lit a candle for someone before I left today.