Pain Removes the Veil

Thought I'd write a bit about what I heard in the Cornerstone sermon last night. At the very hub of the message, I was reminded of a lot about myself.

How I never grew up from the "Look at me!" mentality that is perfectly reasonable for a kid, but not for an adult.

How, for all of my life, I lived on the idea that this was my world. you just live in it.

And most importantly, in my addiction, how I never dropped the self-will that kept me in the same painful cycle. The sermon's title is My Glory to His Glory. That means something. I'm not god anymore. I turn all of the insanity and pride over to my Higher Power. I recognize that it's not about what people can do for me... It's about what I can do for people in his name.

Ego builds a cardboard fortress that humility must everyday tear down.

Very telling about how fragile even the largest egos are. That was a quote that Rusty found. Another was from CS Lewis... "Pain removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul."

For those who didn't catch the YouTube link last night, here's a link to the audio sermon...

Cornerstone Church Podcast: My Glory to His Glory

Hope the day is going great for you! May post something fun a bit later....

Marvelous and Majestic

I will never forget to say thank you to God, even on the greyest days. My attitude will be one of humility and gratitude. Saying thank you to God is a daily practice that is absolutely necessary. If a day is not one of thankfulness, the practice has to be repeated until it becomes so. Gratitude is a necessity for those who seek to live a better life.

I love that today's meditation deals with gratitude! I hate to name-drop, but I do talk to a pretty important guy everyday. To say that you have the ear of the most powerful force in the universe is somethin' else... Ok. I'll stop being cheesy. It's true though.

I thank God every night (and throughout the day) for everything he's done for me. I am a different, better person, and I couldn't have done it without him. I thank him for the people he has put in my life. People that have made me better. People who really love me. :) I thank him for everyday that I have on this planet (I know that I'm not guaranteed another one...). I thank him for every sober day on this planet too. I thank him for putting me in a position to be of service to other people. And every once in a while, say I'm hiking up a gorgeous mountain pass knee-deep in snow, I whisper my gratitude.

That's Hatcher Pass, BTW. Haven't been there in forever and it's one of my favorite places on earth. My Alaskan peeps know what I'm talkin' about.

True gratitude requires humility, though. I have to say that I am truly humbled by all the marvelous and majestic things God has put in my life! I can't wait to see what else He has in store for me...

Until tomorrow, my friends... Goodnight.

Hatcher Pass. This is me with my bro

before I moved up in 2001. For more info

on the pass click here...

A Road Paved of Good Intentions

I love going to the men's group. I told someone earlier that it was a lot of laughing and cursing. It's a great fellowship of guys who like to cut up a little and talk about their recovery. I met my sponsor there too.

Our topic tonight was about service work. Someone shared something that stuck with me... "Intention doesn't get results, action does." Another guy quoted Yoda with one of my favorite pearls of wisdom, "Do... or do not. There is no 'try'." Basically... Service requires action.

Or does it?

The discussion reminded me of last night's step study. I thought of my initial reaction to hearing what the newcomer was saying. I shared about it tonight. That what I would have done previously was run right to him after the meeting and say, "Ok! This is what you need to do!" This particular situation, however, required more humility from me than it did knowledge. I'm in absolutely no position right now to give this guy advice. Maybe a little ways down the road, but not now.

I wished him the best, kept my mouth shut after that, and let God and someone with alot more experience handle it. In a nutshell, I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes you have to realize that your best intentions can do more harm than good. There was once a time for me, as well, that those intentions were bred more from ego than from a genuine willingness to help.

The rest of the day was good too. Started the food drive benefiting Second Harvest of New Orleans. If you live in the area, the food drop is in the Walgreen's at 3227 Magazine St. My theme is "The Other 363- Hunger Still Happens After The Holidays". They recommend that you have a theme. :)

Gotta lot of work to do tonight, so I'm going to get to it. Goodnight, all and have a great tomorrow!

Thank You

It's a late night and I have to be up very early. Just wanted to write a quick post thanking each and every one of you who have read these pages. There's still alot more to come, trust me. I learn something new everyday!

It's a blessing to have such a wonderful support system. Your prayers and encouragement are part of what keeps me sober and recovering. Even the ones I don't even know who read this regularly... and there are alot... you may not know it, but you are part of my recovery too. :) And the ones who are suffering who get some kind of inspiration from these words, that in itself makes my opening up to the world worth it.

This blog also serves as my journal. I go back often and read what I've written. Sometimes I say to myself, "Wow. You've come a long way since that night!" Sometimes it reminds me that there is still more work to do. Sometimes I'm proud of how far I've come, and sometimes I'm humbled.

Thank you again for being here for my recovery! Thank you to the love of my life who I know is out there somewhere rooting for me. When you are ready, you aren't going to be disappointed, I swear. Last, and most definitely not least, I thank God for this wonderful gift he's bestowed upon me.

Have a great night and peace be with you.

Thanks and Giving

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving has become two separate words for me. I said a bit earlier on FB and at my meeting, "Be thankful for what you have and give alot."

My day started out better than I expected. I got up, got ready, and headed down to the mission. I'd been calling for days about volunteering, got no one, so I decided I would just show up. They were closed until the nighttime check-in. Ok. Well. I know where Bridge House is, only too well, so I went there. That's where the action was. They were feeding folks up into the afternoon. I checked in, went around to one of tents, and got to work. Mostly ran food and helped put things up at the end.

I was a little put off last week that I couldn't work Thanksgiving. Since I'd be alone this year, I thought work would keep me occupied. God wanted me somewhere else, however, and I am so blessed that that was where he wanted me. I thanked everyone before I left and started downtown to look for lunch. Decided on an oyster platter at a place I've never been to before. It didn't disappoint. Couldn't eat all of it though.

After that I stopped and checked out the Thanksgiving parade. It was more like a pre-Bayou Classic parade, but I enjoyed it.

Then to my meeting. It was fairly small, being the holiday and all. One of my friends moderated and started the topic "What are you grateful for?" No one saw that coming. I really like something he said while sharing. It's something his sponsor told him. "Two of the most important tools in recovery are gratitude and humility." Someone else mentioned that gratitude requires humility. I've never heard it put like that, but it is so true. Anyone can say thank you. True gratitude is a feeling, and I'm feeling grateful for a heck of alot today.

My thought for the day....

Thanksgiving is something that happens 365 days a year if you have true gratitude and love in your heart.... And folks in need don't stop needing after Dec. 25th. Be thankful and give.

Peace.