Creative Forces

Being alive is being creative. You need do nothing but affirm your aliveness. —Gay Bonner

What does it mean to be alive? Does it mean merely breathing, eating, and moving around, or is there more to it? Being alive can mean different things to different people. To some, it's sewing a baby quilt for a new life about to be born. To others, it's singing, or walking, or running. Still others find it in the exhilaration of skiing, or the tropical splendor they find when scuba diving.

Each of us has our own favorite activity that lets us feel our creativity and vitality, that lets us feel a part of the larger world. Two gifts these activities leave us with are joy and energy. Joy is one of the most creative forces we can call on, and energy gives us the power to do it well.

I so love the message from Today's Gift! It resonates so loudly for me because I consider myself a creative person and find great joy in those pursuits. Whether I'm sketching, doing photography, outdoor activities, or cooking (among other things)... I find myself centered and serene.


Self-worth and healthy pride flow from doing something that you do well and truly enjoy. As far I'm concerned, walking around the French Quarter with a camera or painting a basement with your dad is some of the best therapy you can get. And it's free.


Goodnight!

Burial mound outside Helen, GA

No Rest for the Weary

The way sometimes seems long and weary. So many people today are weary. The weariness of others must often be shared by me. The weary and the heavy laden, when they come to me, should be helped to find the rest that I have found. There is only one sure cure for world-weariness and that is turning to spiritual things. In order to help bring about the turning of the weary world to God, I must dare to suffer, dare to conquer selfishness in myself, and dare to be filled with spiritual peace in the face of all the weariness of the world.

Sometimes the road forward seems endless and overwhelming. I used to feel so weary and hopeless. I was really getting tired of listening to myself and putting up with my own attitude. The big difference between me and other people was that they could get away from me when my behavior became too selfish, boastful, or judgemental.

Finding some serenity with my Higher Power and the program has made me somewhat more comfortable with myself and others. It's easier to deal with other people and things that life throws everyday.

I've met so many sad, down-trodden folks in the program and on the streets. Today I feel better centered and self-aware enough to help those who come along much more effectively.

Got back late and have an early day tomorrow so I am anxious to get some rest.

Have a great night and a blessed day!

Laissez les Bon Temps Rouler!

1 day down and a week and a half to go! I am, of course, talking about Mardi Gras. I love going to the parades, but that's about it. Maybe I'd feel a little different if the situation were a bit different. But that's my fault.

Work was gruesome. I just want to shower, maybe watch a little American Pickers, then go to bed. I have to be up kinda early to meet with my sponsor about step 10... Then deal with the crowd again. I maintain my serenity, though. Smile. Be nice. Be professional. It can be a challenge, however.

I think I have commuting worked out. That's a good thing.

Anyways... I'm going to go ahead and sign off.

Goodnight, all!

Androids and People In General

Uhhggggg.... Sinuses are going nuts. May be infected.

My boss sent me home with his Toshiba Android tablet. He couldn't get MP4's to play. I downloaded a media player that I believe is compatible and seems to work so far. I just hate being responsible for that device... Good test of responsibility, though. It's like the high school project where the students have to take care of an egg for a month. LOL... Seriously, it's cool that he trusted me with it.

I will practice love, because lack of love will block the way. I will try to see good in all people, those I like and also those who fret me and go against the grain. They are all children of God. I will try to give love; otherwise, how can I dwell in God's spirit whence nothing unloving can come? I will try to get along with all people, because the more love I give away, the more I will have.

That's the meditation for today. There was a time in my life when I was proud to proclaim my disdain for people in general. Once I opened up, though, and actually engaged people in conversation and fellowship, my self-esteem and serenity hit a new high. Folks respond so much more positively when you smile and say, "Hello", than when you grimace and keep on walking. It makes their day better too.

I pray every night to be put in a position where I can be of service. Sometimes a "How ya doin'?" is all it takes.

Anywho... I'm feelin' kinda cruddy, so I'm about to call it a night. Thank God I close tomorrow. I can sleep in and recuperate a bit.

Have a wonderful night, world...

God bless!

Feeling Connected and Today's Meditation

It's been a rough week so far. I'm off the next two days, and even though I have alot to do, I'm hoping it will be easier. May even go see a movie tomorrow night.

The men's group went well. I was out front chatting before the meeting, looked around me, and realized that I was surrounded by generations of sponsors. Mine, my grand-sponsor.... and so on. That Tuesday night meeting is a great brotherhood. And here's another first. At the last second I was asked to lead us out with The Lord's Prayer. Talk about a deer in the headlights. It was an honor though.

Those little things really make ya feel connected.

Thought I'd share the meditation for the day from the 24 Hours book...

Avoid fear as you would a plague. Fear, even the smallest fear, is a hacking at the cords of faith that bind you to God. However small the fraying, in time those cords will wear thin, and then one disappointment or shock will make them snap. But for the little fears, the cords of faith would have held firm. Avoid depression, which is allied to fear. Remember that all fear is disloyalty to God. It is a denial of His care and protection.

My serenity is challenged by fear sometimes. Usually I'll say a quick prayer and focus on other things. Recovery has given me so much, and one of those things is how to deal with life as it throws me curveballs. The old Jay couldn't do that. He'd get frustrated or start blaming things on everyone... or everything around him. His pride and ego hindered his growth for so long. And that of others. Each day is a new day, with new surprises, and new challenges. Times aren't always good, but my life is so much better.

One day at a time.

Goodnight, world.

Really?

My laptop's charger just literally exploded right here in the coffee shop. I'm running on what power I have left now. I have the worst luck with these things.

I have set it up so I can post from my phone.

I had a great meeting and was all prepared to share about humility. That was part of our topic.

Now I must go and see if Radio Shack is still open. No biggie. Stuff happens.

Have a great night, all!

The 10 Minute Chip

Something else I got from my meeting today was a "Chew On It" chip. Didn't know those existed. They also call it a "10 Minute Chip". It has the serenity prayer etched on it. I picked one up during my share. I figured I needed it to remind me to live in the now. To chew on it (not literally... no telling how many people have touched it... Ha) when things start getting a bit heavy to carry.

Tonight I pulled it out and prayed. It actually helped.

Work went well. Talked to my sponsor on my dinner break. We decided that we would go over the rest of my written work and do my 5th step Wed. Very much looking forward to that. The other night when I told him I've been practicing mini-4th Steps, he told me I was 10th Stepping. I looked at him oddly, but he assured me it was a good thing.

Here's the day's thought from the book Today's Gift. I really enjoyed this passage.

"There's a person inside each of us just itching to be known and loved. But if we don't get to know and love that person, how can we expect anyone else to know us?

That's why it's so important to spend time alone getting acquainted with ourselves. And how do we do that? We can sit quietly with ourselves, thinking and listening. Then we can write our thoughts in a journal, or we can draw or paint them. If we play a musical instrument, we can put our thoughts and feelings into music.

When we make the time and effort to know ourselves, it encourages others to want to know us, too. Since everything we do and feel begins inside us, we must feel good about ourselves in order to feel good about anything else. What wonders we are, that we have all the power we need to make our world a happy one!

How do I feel about myself today?"

I feel good. ;)

Goodnight, world.

Where the Wind Will Take Me

The past few months have been a whirlwind of serenity, enthusiasm, gratitude, sadness, and sometimes despair. So. Today I decided to stop the train and get off for a few minutes.

It's been really nice not having anywhere I have to be. I'll still go to a meeting tonight, but other than that... anything goes.

First I got up, got ready, and went to Subway. Then I hopped the streetcar down to Audubon Park. It was bittersweet without Sarah there, but faith tells me that we will be back feeding the ducks again sometime soon. I haven't been to the park since well before all of this tragedy I caused took place. It was pleasant and quiet though.

After that I trekked over to The Fly. It's the Riverview area behind the zoo. Meditated, read a little Big Book, and helped a wounded lizard find cover. I like that the boy scout in me is coming back.

Now I am at my old haunt on Magazine and Jefferson. It's a PJ's coffeehouse. After this I don't know, and I am comfortable with that. I'll write more after the meeting...