Service and Perfectionism

Today had it's ups and downs, but it was a good one overall. It was a very special day that I was not able to take part in, though. But... We take accountability for our actions and we learn from them. And we accept the consequences.

Work was a little more eventful than usual. We had a guy in the dumpster pulling out food. Our boss went out, confronted him and basically ran him off. I was asked to watch him until he was gone. The guy apologized and said he hadn't eaten today. There was a buttload of unopened food in the trash. Not being able to do much for him, and knowing he had to eat, I told him to grab what he could carry. Also if he was going to come back for the rest, he should do it after 6 0r 7 pm. I know it seems gross or humiliating to let someone take that stuff, but he may not have eaten otherwise.

It's sad as hell and says something about our society when a poor person thanks you for turning your head when they go through the garbage.

Then, an elderly lady that I know and like fairly well had some kind of spell out front. We couldn't tell if she was having a stroke, a blood pressure drop, or a diabetic episode. She'd gone cold and clammy, unresponsive but somewhat aware, and her pulse was weak when I checked it. Her pupils didn't dilate, which was good. About as quick as it started, she came back. Pulse was ok again, she was able to communicate... She didn't seem to remember it, so I told her she'd spaced out and wasn't talking to me, which was just rude. She chuckled and at about that time the ambulance pulled up.

I ask God to put me in situations where I can be of some kind of service to others, and today he didn't disappoint.

Got to my meeting waaaayyy early, so I stopped at the park and enjoyed the serenity. When I got to where we meet, I was asked to read the preamble. Thinking I had enough time before the meeting started, I ran down the street to pick up something to fix for dinner. I got back to my seat just in time. Trying to catch my breath, I read. I love reading and giving out chips.

The moderator was a guy I know pretty well. I always enjoy listening to him speak. His topic was perfectionism. One person shared that "great" is the enemy of "good". Eh... I can kinda see that. Another shared that perfectionism is an endless quest because it can never be attained. I liked that more. Most just shared about their close calls with drinking over the holidays. I spoke a bit. Talked about how hard they've been, but thankfully, I haven't had any problems with wanting to go back out.

Anyway... I'm off tomorrow and I have a lot to do. I will, however, sleep in a bit. Looking forward to that.

Goodnight, all.

Desire and Fresh Fruit

It's been a long day and I am tired... Productive though. Today is my niece's birthday, so I called and talked to her. Sent her a subscription to "Zooworld". Worked from 8am. Went to a meeting at 6. Walked ALOT. Tried to pay off something on my credit report, but will have to wait until tomorrow so they can get the file.

Something interesting came to me at work. I had eaten a fruit bowl for breakfast and something in it tasted a bit alcoholly. May have been non-fresh fruit. May have been in my head. Anyway, that got me thinking about when I was drinking, and that used to spark some sick kind of nostalgia. This time, however, I saw in myself... and I mean deep in myself.... that I had no desire to do it. It just came to me and I don't know how. The only thing I can think of is my Higher Power. The fact that I'm re-establishing a relationship with God, I've been praying, and holding dear to my love of Sarah and my family. I think that that lack of desire has been there for a while, but today I actually felt it. Does that make sense?

The meeting was ok. It was the "After Work" group. The guy who moderated is always interesting to listen to. We're acquaintances and I see him around often. As a matter of fact, he's one of the first people who ever stopped and talked to me after a meeting. I looked like a deer in headlights that day. Of course this was about 4 years ago. His topic was "perfection". Now some may disagree, and please call me out on this if ya do, but I've never considered myself too much of a perfectionist. I could be wrong, though, and just never realized it. I know that I have gotten pretty involved in my own little projects in the past. That's a behavior I'm trying to tame nowadays. Hard work is a totally different thing from fixation. Perfectionism can create stress and use up precious time.

Geez. Now I have myself wondering if I was a perfectionist on some level....

I had a good, long conversation with Teresa before the meeting (as we often do). I wont go into too much detail about it, but our talks do a world of good. Thanks, Teresa.

I work late tomorrow so I'll be going to one of my favorite meetings at noon. Mustard Seed rocks!