Sticks and Bricks

We had a really good speaker at homegroup tonight. Something he said jumped out at me. He talked about what our recovery is built on. The house that stands for a hundred years is built on a strong foundation.

I immediately thought of a children's story that I'm sure we're all familiar with... My recovery is only as strong as what I put into it. If I build straw or stick houses, the wolf (my own pride and complacency) is going to keep coming back to blow them down. Hard work, diligence, and faith are the things bricks are made of.

Our Higher Power, however, is the strongest part of that foundation. My previous meeting today was another speaker meeting. She brought up the meditation from 24 Hours A Day. I think it relates pretty well to that aspect of what we all discussed tonight...

"Hallowed be Thy Name." What does that mean to us? Here "name" is used in the sense of "spirit." The words mean praise to God for His spirit in the world, making us better. We should be especially grateful for God's spirit, which gives us the strength to overcome all that is base in our lives. His spirit is powerful. It can help us to live a conquering, abundant life. So we praise and thank Him for His spirit in our lives and in the lives of others.

Well. It's getting late and I'm pretty pooped. Today was a great day in recovery. Good night, all, and God Bless.

The Prodigal Son (Cornerstone Church Service from 7-1-12)

Here it is! The Cornerstone sermon from Sunday. Sorry I was a bit late posting....

Was at my homegroup tonight. It was a great meeting. Had a really good speaker. It was hard for me to pay attention, however, due to the over-powering smell of alcohol coming from my neighbor's breath. I don't mean the smell of alcohol that was consumed during the day today, I mean the smell of alcohol that has been consumed for the past few days straight. I finally had to get up and walk outside because I was starting to gag.

I'm not trying to imply that the guy shouldn't have been there. Actually, I can't think of a better place for him to have been. He's a regular too. Every Thursday night. Really nice guy, but not quite right in the head. I don't judge him and I didn't say anything to my fellow members. I'm sure that after all this time they know.

I wish him well, and I hope I see him again next Thursday (just not going to sit by him).

Afterwards I found out that we aren't hosting meetings at the men's shelter anymore. Very sad to hear it, but none of the guys staying there attended.

All-in-all it was a good day though. Of course, as they say, anyday above ground is a good day. ;)

Good night and God Bless!

Business and Acceptance

I really enjoyed my homegroup's business meeting this evening. Folks are getting to know me better, I'm getting more comfortable, and getting more active.

After that we had our regular meeting. The moderator's topic was acceptance. I shared that acceptance for me was realizing things like I can never drink again, that I'm an alcoholic, knowing I'd have to make some serious life changes... and being ok with all of that. The very first of the 12 steps is all about acceptance. Accepting and admitting the fact that we're powerless.

It's been a lovely, full day and I'm grateful. Here's today's meditation.

Be calm, be true, be quiet. Do not get emotionally upset by anything that happens around you. Feel a deep, inner security in the goodness and purpose in the universe. Be true to your highest ideals. Do not let yourself slip back into the old ways of reacting. Stick to your spiritual guns. Be calm always. Do not talk back or defend yourself too much against accusation, whether false or true. Accept abuse as well as you accept praise. Only God can judge the real you.

Words to live by! I absolutely love it. Have a great night and God Bless!

We Do What We Must

Today's Thought

We must go to A.A. meetings regularly. We must learn to think differently. We must change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. We must reeducate our minds. We must try to help other alcoholics. We must cooperate with God by spending at least as much time and energy on the A.A. program as we did on drinking. We must follow the A.A. program to the best of our ability. Have I turned my alcoholic problem over to God and am I cooperating with Him?

I've been running non-stop since 6am. Pretty exhausted, but fulfilled. It's been an excellent day. Had a good meeting at my homegroup to top it all off. Meetings are but one of my "musts" to stay successful in recovery. Without the re-enforcement and fellowship I'd be in real danger of slipping back into my old ways of thinking.

Surrender is a must too. From the first step, I had to put my self-will and ego aside and say, "Ya know what God. I can't do this alone. I need your help." Since then, I've felt him actively working in my life.

Well. I have to go to bed soon, so I'm going to grab a shower and prepare to settle in. It'll be another 6am wake up call in the morning.

Have a wonderful night and a blessed day tomorrow!

Humble Pie

Homegroup went really well tonight. Bit of a small crowd, though. I did get my literature for next week's H&I, and I have two speakers who volunteered. Can't wait!

I would like to talk about last night's post for a moment. Something has been weighing kinda heavily on me today. One of the paragraphs seemed a bit boastful. When I asked someone about it this morning, she agreed. The idea I was trying to convey was that traveling and living a fancy free lifestyle isn't worth sacrificing relationships with loved ones. I could have worded that much more humbly... And more truthfully. Most of my running around and partying was at the expense of others. Figuratively and literally. I never accepted any consequences for my actions, so they were left on the people who loved me. And for that I am eternally sorry. Hopefully, in some way, my new actions can make up for some of it.

I've been waiting all day to say that. And it's been a long day. Got up very early, went to work, and then to my meeting. Pretty tired, so I'll probably hit the hay soon. I still encourage anyone who sees something askew, or something I've missed in my writing to call me on it.

Well. I'm going to start winding down... Goodnight, world.

Hospitals and Institutions

Up at the crack of dawn for work. It was a good day, though. Ran non-stop again so I'm kinda looking forward to sleeping in a bit tomorrow.

Homegroup was great. The business meeting was a little more animated than usual. One of the items we discussed was starting H&I at one of the men's shelters. H&I is service work that we do in hospitals and institutions. Usually conducting meetings. I was honored enough to have been asked to chair one a month. Since it would be my first time doing something like that, I told them I felt like I should run it by my sponsor. Shouldn't be a prob.

The regular meeting was good too. We had a member pick up her 30 year chip. I always love seeing that. It's an awesome reminder of how well the program works if you work it...

Getting ready for bed now. May get a little stormy tonight, but that's perfectly ok. I enjoy a good thunderstorm.

Have a peaceful night and a blessed tomorrow!

Back to the Norm

Work went really well. I did alot of lifting, climbing, and carrying so I'm a bit worn out. Gonna do some laundry, eat my sandwich, and get ready for bed....

Kinda sad seeing the Mardi Gras season go. Was walking down St. Charles on my way home and noticed how quiet it was. Just yesterday there were thousands of people crowding the street to see the parades. In less than a month, though, we'll have the St. Patrick's Parade (another little taste of insanity for those who miss it).

I am looking forward to having my homegroup again. It starts back tomorrow night. And we have a business meeting.

Now we can take an inventory of the good things that have come to us through A.A. To begin with, we're sober today. That's the biggest asset on any alcoholic's books. Sobriety to us is like goodwill in business. Everything else depends on that. Most of us have jobs, which we owe to our sobriety. We know we couldn't hold these jobs if we were drinking, so our jobs depend on our sobriety. Most of us have wives or husbands and children, which we either had lost or might have lost, if we hadn't stopped drinking. We have friends in A.A., real friends who are always ready to help us. Do I realize that my job, my family, and my real friends are dependent upon my sobriety?

There's the thought for the day. I really like it. It's a crucial reminder of exactly how much rides on my recovery. I should read that passage every day.

Well. I'm going to check on my clothes and wind down. Have a great night and God Bless!

Don't Have a Krewe? Make Your Own!

Another night of parades! I had a blast. I got there by myself and by the beginning of the first one I had a whole group to hang with. A most unlikely bunch too... A really cool couple from Valley, AL (not too far from my old stompin' grounds), a couple of ladies from Edgard, LA, and some sorority girls who ended up being bead hogs. Everyone was nice, though, and not one person was drinking. Spent most of my time with the Valley folks. They winced every time I said "War Eagle". ;)

Best seat in the house!

Didn't have my homegroup tonight. Unfortunately the church is right smack dab in the middle of the parade route. I'll hit the Mustard Seed tomorrow. Can't wait to catch up with my peeps and see how their Mardi Gras went, though. We have a business meeting and a regular meeting next week.

Anyhow... It's another late night and I haven't even eaten dinner yet. Had a hot dog and nachos, but that was hours ago. I'll leave you with some very bad quality Blackberry video of the start of the Muses parade.

Goodnight! God Bless!

Meetings and the Osmosis Effect

I have to close at work tonight, so I'll be doing my evening writing very late.

Got up and read the Thought for the Day from the 24 Hours book...

It doesn't do much good to come to meetings only once in a while and sit around, hoping to get something out of the program. That's all right at first, but it won't help us very long. Sooner or later we have to get into action by coming to meetings regularly, by giving a personal witness of our experience with alcohol, and by trying to help other alcoholics. Building a new life takes all the energy that we used to spend on drinking. Am I spending at least as much time and effort on the new life that I'm trying to build in A.A.?

I'm happy to be able to say that, this time, I hit the AA trail running. In years passed, I was always the guy sitting in the back looking at the clock. Thinking that my simple presence would spark some kind of osmosis-like effect... And that was even if I cared at all about recovering. Sometimes I just went to say that I'd been there.

Now I get a sense of joy and fellowship from going to meetings. I share often. I've worked hard with my sponsor on my steps. I do any kind of service work that is within my ability. And I pray... sticking close to my Higher Power. This earnest work that I've put into recovery has earned me another chip (an honest chip) tomorrow. Well. I have to wait til my homegroup Thursday to pick it up. Gotta work all day.

So I am grateful for today's thought. We often hear the same things over again, but sometimes in different words. That's great, though. I consider it renewing instead of repetitive.... keeping us on our toes and out of the monstrous jaws of complacency.

To all the night owls, I'll post again when I get back... Maybe something fun. It's been a while since I did a "Lightheartedness" post.

Twinkly Stars and Another Amends

Was looking at the sky before my meeting and saw a very bright star over the trees. You can tell a star from a planet because planets don't twinkle. A bit of useless information for ya. Anyway... Since I was a child, I would look up at the night sky and be overwhelmed with a feeling. A feeling that I know today as "awe". I felt that tonight. It made me feel very small imagining the size and distance of it. And how long it took the light from that star to get here. Go sit out on a perfectly clear night with someone you love, or your Higher Power and just gaze. All the crap in your life suddenly seems very small.

Had a good, but short amends earlier. I wont say who it was with, but it was kind of funny. We chatted for a little while, then I said, "Well. The reason I called was to apologize for all the times I took advantage of your hospitality." It wasn't just an obligatory apology. It was from the heart. The person said, "Well thank you." and went on to ask, "Are you dying or something?". I had to laugh. "No. I'm just sorry and it's long overdue." I could tell they were glad to hear it.

It was another busy day. Got up and started working on the new place. Did some laundry. Had an appointment that went really well. Ran errands uptown. Had to go to that village in purgatory, also known as "Wal-Mart on Tchoupitoulas", to pick up bedding. Ate some General Tso's chicken at Green Tea for dinner. Went to a great homegroup meeting. And back here to wind down. Awesome day.

Hope you had an awesome day, too. Goodnight.

Had to brighten it up a bit.
I love the light in here.

My Aching Back

Had a blast today running from one side of New Orleans to the other. Literally. I traveled from Riverbend to the Marigny and back. But man did it pay off. Found me an awesome place on Napoleon at the last minute. The other places I looked at were... not very appealing.

Goes to show how our Higher Power works in our lives. I am truly grateful.

Wasn't able to make a meeting today because of all the chaos, but I am very much looking forward to my homegroup tomorrow night.

Well. It was a stressful day, but I maintained and kept the faith. Bout to blow up my air mattress and maybe watch The Daily Show on my computer. Oh. I didn't mention the place didn't come furnished? Something I failed to ask beforehand. Quite alright, though. As soon as I saw it, I knew I'd better grab it before someone else did.

Carpe diem, my friends.

Small Groups

Feeling much better today. I slept like a rock last night. It was a very eventful day and I was getting the crud, so I suppose I needed to be unconscious for about 9 hours. Still coughing a little, but I'm relieved I didn't wake up with the flu or something....

Had a good meeting at Mustard Seed today. There were only five of us guys, but I enjoy the really small groups. The topic was change. More specifically, leaving our addiction and old behavior behind us and becoming the people we were meant to be. I shared that it was funny how these topics come up and seem to coincide with what is happening in our lives. I told the guys about my fifth step from yesterday, and about how I'm working on 6 and 7 right now (see previous post). Very exciting stuff.

Well. I have to be somewhere by 4, so I'd better run. I have my homegroup later too. I decided that for tonight I would post something fun. Maybe a video or two. Haven't decided yet.

Til then, I hope you have a great rest of your day.