Faith and Strength

We strengthen our faith by working with other alcoholics and finding that we can do nothing ourselves to help them, except to tell them our own story of how we found the way out. If the other person is helped, it's by the grace of God and not by what we do or say. Our own faith is strengthened when we see another alcoholic find sobriety by turning to God. And finally we strengthen our faith by having quiet times every morning. Do I ask God in this quiet time for the strength to stay sober this day?

That's what I love about H&I. We go into hospitals and institutions and talk to the clients. We don't preach or throw around advice. Instead we tell our stories. We talk about the program, what it means to us, and where we are now. Afterward we answer questions to the best of our ability and offer support. We express our gratitude to our Higher Power and explain how recovery would be impossible without him.

And faith? My faith is strengthened whenever I see a newcomer introduce themselves at the beginning of a meeting or an old-timer pick up a 30 year chip.

My quiet times are right before I go to sleep and first thing in the morning before getting up. I pray for strength and guidance. I ask God for help because I know that without him, there's no telling where I would be.

Speaking of sleep... I'm headed that way soon. May try and watch Saturday Night Live first. Enjoy your evening and have a great day tomorrow!

My First H&I

Well. I did my first H&I meeting tonight. I think I did ok. Kinda scary at first because my speakers were 10 minutes late. They went to the New Orleans Mission by mistake. That was a long 10 minutes. I had to go ahead and start on time while thinking to myself, "What am I going to talk about if these guys don't show?" My mind is racing for a topic to use as a plan B. Being an introductory meeting for AA, I decided to start a discussion about the steps. I'm sitting there doing the best I can, but still nervously rambling about some of the hurdles I hit in my amends. Thank God the speakers walked in when they did.

It turned into a very good meeting. A bit of a different animal than the ones I'm used to, though. Some of these guys are hardened criminals. Some are just at rock bottom with nowhere to go. A place I know only too well. Only through the grace of God do I no longer find myself there. And only by that grace, I will never find myself there again. Everyone was nice, however, and welcomed me right in. My next one is in April and I may be picking up more than one a month. I look forward to working with these guys. I just have to remember my limits. Still not qualified enough to go around giving all kinds of advice. This is very serious stuff.

Gotta be up super early tomorrow, so I'm going to go ahead and wind down. It's going to be a very busy day, but I'll have my homegroup to look forward to at the end of it. :)

Goodnight!

Humble Pie

Homegroup went really well tonight. Bit of a small crowd, though. I did get my literature for next week's H&I, and I have two speakers who volunteered. Can't wait!

I would like to talk about last night's post for a moment. Something has been weighing kinda heavily on me today. One of the paragraphs seemed a bit boastful. When I asked someone about it this morning, she agreed. The idea I was trying to convey was that traveling and living a fancy free lifestyle isn't worth sacrificing relationships with loved ones. I could have worded that much more humbly... And more truthfully. Most of my running around and partying was at the expense of others. Figuratively and literally. I never accepted any consequences for my actions, so they were left on the people who loved me. And for that I am eternally sorry. Hopefully, in some way, my new actions can make up for some of it.

I've been waiting all day to say that. And it's been a long day. Got up very early, went to work, and then to my meeting. Pretty tired, so I'll probably hit the hay soon. I still encourage anyone who sees something askew, or something I've missed in my writing to call me on it.

Well. I'm going to start winding down... Goodnight, world.

But for the Grace of God

Got the greenlight to chair H&I once a month. I think I'll ask my sponsor to be my first moderator. Talked to him a little earlier about meeting up tomorrow or Sunday. We're going to go ahead and finish my steps. Pretty psyched about that!

Work went well too. It was a pretty slow night. Just got back and am getting ready to wind down for bed. I'll check out the Cornerstone website first and see if they've posted this week's sermon yet.

When we came to our first A.A. meeting, we looked up at the wall at the end of the room and saw the sign: "But for the grace of God." We knew right then and there that we would have to call on the grace of God in order to get sober and get over our soul sickness. We heard speakers tell how they had come to depend on a Power greater than themselves. That made sense to us and we made up our minds to try it. Am I depending on the grace of God to help me stay sober?

That's not what I was thinking at my first AA meeting. Seeing the word "God" everywhere scared the hell out of me. It took me a very long time to accept him as my Higher Power and that's one reason I failed so many times. Now I know that God's got my back. Whenever I need him, I can call on him. He's always there.

Gonna go ahead and sign off. If Cornerstone posted today, I'll link it here.

Have a great night and a blessed tomorrow!