More of Jay's NOLA (In Recovery)

NOLA.... New Orleans Louisiana. Back in October I had posted a few long messages on my Facebook page. When I realized it may not be an appropriate place to write about being a former drunk, I started this blog. The first post was called "Sushi and Preachers". I couldn't have been more thankful for the outpouring of support from my family and friends. Here's the pic from my lunch on the Riverwalk... The day I started doing this.

I quickly fell into a routine of getting up everyday, going straight to a noon meeting, getting lunch, writing, and then going to work. Those days were nice in a bittersweet way, but life has a way of stacking other things upon you. Some of my favorite lunches were when I ate Subway in front of St. Louis Cathedral and Jackson Square.

The Archdiocese of New Orleans says,

"Eat Fresh!"

New Year's Eve! I was so looking for something to bring in the New Year. I was quite lonely at the time and really wanted to do something on that special evening. What I found was one of my favorite hangouts in New Orleans. The Columns. It's a historic house made into a hotel. I listened to live jazz and drank cranberry and soda (with a twist of lime) all night.

Your's truly taking his own pic up against...

a column.

Jay's New Orleans

Best foodstand ever! Great crawfish pies and meatpies.

The BBQ shrimp nachos rule too.

Whether you want a sno-ball or delicious

carnival type food... This is the place.

And VERY affordable.

Riverview Park. A source of great serenity

for me. I've been here many times with my

Big Book in hand. It's very relaxing to watch the

ships go by down the Mississippi or just biking along

the levee.

And now it is festival season... My favorite time of year

in my favorite city! When I was a lonely drunk, I couldn't

enjoy stuff like this. I just isolated myself.

More New Orleans to come! Have a good night and God Bless...

Old New Orleans Groups

Got up super early and went straight to work. That went pretty smoothly. Went to my homegroup's business meeting afterward. Now that I really enjoyed. It was our regular bunch... Chatted alot beforehand. One of the ladies and I were talking about how old our group actually is and the traditions it carried. At about 50 years old, it's one of the oldest in New Orleans that is still going. If not, the oldest. I had no idea and am proud to be part of such an enduring institution.

She thought it was interesting that the group started before she started drinking. Heck I can't believe it's been around since before I was born... She also shared that in drinking, she had no interest in tradition or the program. She just wanted to party and have fun. We then discussed the evolution of drinking when I talked about it ceasing to be enjoyable and freeing, and turned into me sitting in my house alone... not answering the door. I learned alot in that brief conversation.

In other news, at our regular meeting, one of our members got her 13 year chip tonight. Two others got a 5 and a 21. Most importantly, though, a young lady got her 24 hour chip. That's one of the biggest moves you can make in recovery!

Have a great night...

The Best Medicine

If taking vitamins doesn't keep you healthy enough, try more laughter: The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.

-Nicolas-Sebastien Chamfort

Busy, crazy day at work. Got home and some of the guy's invited me up to eat some crawfish. That was a pleasant surprise. We sat on the porch and talked for quite some time about where to get a good breakfast in New Orleans. My suggestions were Trolley Stop and Slim Goodies, but I learned about some new places that I'd like to try.

Was thinking earlier today about a good topic for a post. It dawned on me that I had been rerunning a bit from last night's Saturday Night Live in my head... occasionally chuckling to myself. Every once in a while a character named Stefon pops up on the Weekend Update segment. Every time he's on there, I laugh til it hurts. I find him hilarious, but I am sure the humor isn't for everyone.

Anyway... My point is that I remembered how good it felt to laugh. It enriches the soul. It literally does heal (well... maybe not things like kidney stones or gunshot wounds, but who knows...). It can instantly put me in a better frame of mind. Whether from humor or joy, I realize that I need to laugh more. And I mean genuine laughter. Not the obligatory "heh heh" when someone at work says something mildly amusing.

Ya know what. I also realize that I laugh more and laugh harder when I have someone there sharing the laughter with me.

Food for thought. Have you laughed today?

Here's a vid of Stefon on SNL's Weekend Update. Like I said before. The humor isn't really offensive. Still may not be for everyone though. I love it when Bill Hader cracks up in character. Goodnight!

Jack

Had a good day. Not much out of the ordinary... except for the beginning.

I'm walking up St. Charles Ave. on the way to work. I'm talking to my uncle on the phone. I look to my left and there is a guy walking down the middle of the street. There's a line of cars behind him. What I found fascinating was that not one horn was honking. Upon closer inspection, I realized that this guy had a white cane and sunglasses. Aha.

I politely excused myself from the phone conversation and ran to the edge of the sidewalk. "Sir! You may want to step about 5 feet to your right!" He comes to where I am, starts telling me about his bus ride and how rude the driver was. He then introduces himself. "I'm Jack by the way."

"I'm Jay. Nice to meet ya, Jack." He was surprisingly enthusiastic that we both had "J" names.

"So is this McDonald's?" He's on the opposite side of the road from the popular fast-food chain... and facing the old Border's Books building.

"No. I can take you there if you want. It's right across the street." It occurs to me that he must certainly know his way around if he got this close.

There's alot of traffic on St. Charles, and there are the streetcars to look out for. As we are crossing, he's telling about his life and the book he's writing about being blind in New Orleans. Fascinating stuff. Seriously. I was loving hearing about his experiences. Unfortunately, I also had to concentrate on keeping us from getting run over.

We got across successfully, got inside the fast-food restaurant, and got him in line. "Well, Jack. I have to get to work. Be careful out there. If the ground seems particularly smooth, you may be in the wrong place." To a blind person, New Orleans sidewalks are a hazard to say the least. Describing them as smooth is like describing Rush Limbaugh as tactful.

I made sure that an employee would get him safely back to the bus stop, said my farewell and departed.

I like to think that Jack is out there somewhere right now enjoying a Big Mac. I thank God that we crossed paths and will perhaps meet again.

Goodnight and have a great tomorrow!

Resilience and Drunk Intellectuals

Alcoholics who are living in a blind alley refuse to be really honest with themselves or with other people. They're running away from life and won't face things as they are. They won't give up their resentments. They're too sensitive and too easily hurt. They refuse to try to be unselfish. They still want everything for themselves. And no matter how many disastrous experiences they have had with drinking, they still do it over and over again. There's only one way to get out of that blind alley way of living and that's to change your thinking. Have I changed my thinking?

I met my new neighbor earlier today and had a lengthy discussion about Einstein's quote, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results." The guy is a true intellect, but unfortunately he is in the same grip of addiction that I once was.

There is some kind of misconception in the world that, in New Orleans, you are either an insatiable party person or a drunk literary type. Yes. We have those people in abundance. The culture is so much richer than that, though. I get the impression, however, that he uses an old stereotype to justify his drinking. It's not for me to judge, seeing as how I was once just like that. Romanticizing a dirty habit to make it more acceptable.

My friend in relapse is doing ok. I called earlier to check in. She's on the waiting list for Grace House. That's a year-long rehab center for women. She"s almost 70 years old and the fact that she is so dedicated to recovery is admirable. I hear so many people lament that they wasted their youth on alcohol, and this lady has the resilience of all of them put together.

It's never too late to make yourself better. ;)

I had a good men's group tonight, but didn't see my sponsor there. He didn't respond to my text earlier either. Hope he's ok. He suffered a loss last week. A friend of his who was only 30 had a massive heart attack on the basketball court. Reminds us of how short a time we have in this universe.

My neighbor's house.

Love it love it love it!

Goodnight, world and God bless!

Europeans and Service Work

Just had a really good conversation about politics and war. Otherwise I would've started writing sooner.

Now. What was on my mind...? Talked to Teresa before my second meeting at Rayne Memorial. We were discussing "The Lost Child Pt. 2". She'd had very similar experiences in her family between her folks and her grandparents. She also opened my eyes to the idea that in the past I've pushed people away because I didn't think I deserved them. It's a good point. My history is littered with some pretty rotten things on top of a deep-rooted fear of abandonment. Definitely something to explore.

My homegroup meeting was ok. Not many wanted to share. The theme of the discussion had sort of moved to performing service work. Maybe there just wasn't as much interest in the subject. I shared that I was probably not in much of a position to give advice and such right now. I have opened myself up to people and shared my experiences. Told them where meetings were. For now I think that is service enough. I need to be listening as much talking.

...Funny. I just got invited by a bunch of Europeans to go hang out in the Quarter. When I told them I didn't drink, they asked what I was doing in New Orleans....

Ok. I'm back. Not much else to write really. Gettin' chilly down here and I didn't bring any winter clothes. Guess I'll be shopping next week.

Blogging and Reprieve

We were talking about the importance of daily reprieve at Mustard Seed today. Lots of people in recovery associate this with prayer or meditation. At the meeting we went around the table and most said that they don't usually pray for one day's relief like they should. That's how we do it in AA. One day at a time.

The moderator explained that he didn't pray in the morning because he's usually so out of it that he doesn't remember what he prayed about..... Now, I'm not sure that that's how it is supposed to work, but his isn't my recovery. We do aspects of it in our own ways. Basically whatever works for us. I've been doing some praying myself over the weeks. Mostly for guidance and protection. He then mentioned that someone suggested journaling, but he wasn't up for that either. Ah ha! I had what I wanted to talk about.

One of the best things I've done for my start on the road to recovery was to open up to the world and honestly share what I was going through. It's made me more honest with myself and my loved ones. It also helps keep me from going back out. This blog has been invaluable, and I want to thank all you who read it. Hopefully, others who are suffering can find a little light here.

The guy who said that he couldn't remember what he'd prayed about later in the day also said he wouldn't remember what he wrote about in his journal either. While speaking I tried to indirectly iterate that I journal on a blog and often go back and read it again. I have to remember, still, that we recover in our own ways.

Anyways.... Had a nice lunch in Jackson Square. Hung around for a bit and enjoyed the pretty weather. Then I came here and started writing. Going to another meeting at 6:30, then home.

Will write more tonight.

BBQ & the Blues

Today started at the crack of dawn again. Rushed to work with the anticipation of hitting the Crescent City Blues and BBQ Festival. Two o'clock rolls around and I'm already headed to the restroom to change into my fest gear.

The first thing I do when I get there is look around at the food booths. Hadn't eaten much yet. There was one set up by everyone from Emeril's to Rouses (local supermarket). I was hungry for a meat pie so when I saw that they had ones with BBQ pork, my mind was made up. Grabbed some skewered shrimp too..... and then later a pulled pork taco. The portions aren't very big. I don't eat nearly as much as I used to, but each alone wasn't enough to make me full. Grabbed my diet coke and made my way to the stage. Didn't even give beer a second thought (the vendors were pushing it pretty hard as that's where they make half their money).

I saw a variety of groups. There was a little funk and some real gritty blues by a duo from Mississippi. After an hour my back was killing me from carrying my laptop in my backpack. Left briefly to get a quad chair from CVS. Called my sponsor to check in. He was watching the Saints game with some guests so I quickly told him everything was cool on my end and that I wouldn't keep him. He was ok with me calling when I did. I got back just in time for Marcia Ball. Took my chair out of its nylon sleeve and saw plastic falling out. It was dry-rotted. Test of patience. I could still sit in it and decided to just take it back after the festivities ended.

It was a wonderful show. I just sat and relaxed and listened to the music and watched the people. It was a bit of a downer watching all of the couples dancing and holding hands. Didn't let it get to me. I was there to enjoy the cool breeze and the bands. Still. Wish ya could have been there, Cupcake.

Well. I thought it was about time to post something that was a bit less of a downer, so here ya go. Not the most interesting set of paragraphs in the world, but that was my evening.

The Good and the Bad

Today started on a really upbeat note for me. I made my daily call to my sponsor. We arranged to read the first 5 chapters of the Big Book aloud starting Saturday morning before the "On the Dot" meeting. I readily and happily agreed. Still I kinda dreaded getting up that early. Then I thought... You never had a problem getting up at the butt-crack of dawn to run across the street and buy another bottle. You can sure as hell get up for this. Have to say I'm looking forward to it. AND I haven't been to that meeting in a while.

Speaking of meetings, I've been getting alot out of the "Mustard Seed" downtown. It's a small group. Mostly business people on lunch. I spoke at length about anger the other day and learned quite a bit about myself from just being honest. Today we discussed the importance of making meetings regularly. I shared how I used to be a clockwatcher, paying more attention to the time than what was being said. But then I shared that in the past weeks I've actually been listening. This has made an entire world of difference. I now look forward to my meetings... sometimes making two a day. My entire outlook has started to evolve into something much healthier. I've even started making friends, which is something else I never bothered to do.

After that I had a nice lunch by myself beside the river. The river is kind of my place. I get a little bit of serenity from watching the ships go by or just watching it flow. After that I found my usual seat at PJ's coffee on Canal St. When I left, my day started to change.....

That feeling of serenity kinda went away. I think I'd started worrying about Sarah. I have good days and bad days when it comes to that. This day seemed sort of split in half. I still love her. I wish to God I had a rewind button. This is where I am NOW though. You can only move forward and try your damnedest to make things right. This is the real deal, Cupcake, and there is still a gigantic place in my heart reserved for you if you'll have me.

Work was a bit of a challenge too. A test of patience, if you will. I've never been a fan of the area I worked in tonight. Not even by a longshot. I did well, though. Even found myself bantering with some people.

So. All in all, it was a good productive day. Now I'm just hanging out before bed. Don't usually go to sleep before one or two. Some nights I run into a neighbor in the courtyard and we discuss politics, the city, or even physics. I can enjoy a good, open-minded discussion again. And for all these things, I'm grateful.

Sushi and Preachers

 Today- Called sponsor and arranged to meet before the morning meeting Sat. Discussed the importance of meetings and staying plugged in at Mustard Seed. Had sushi on the Riverwalk, Sitting in PJ's now having a vitamin water. Going to work at 4 and wont get home til about 11. Forgot to mention yesterday that I met the Preacher of Canal St. He's the guy with the megaphone at the corner of Chartres. People think he's crazy but he's actually very smart and socially conscious. I know. Boring stuff, but I like to write about it. I also like sushi on the Riverwalk. 

Will write more tonight when I'm winding down.