I had to show off and boast so that people would think I amounted to something, when, of course, both they and I knew that I really didn't amount to anything. I didn't fool anybody. Although I've been sober for quite a while, the old habit of building my self up is still with me. I still have a tendency to think too well of myself and to pretend to be more than I really am. Am I always in danger of becoming conceited just because I'm sober?
I've always had a problem with boastfulness and building myself up to look better in front of my friends, family, heck even people I didn't like. Sure that behavior may make you more interesting to some for a while, but people grow weary of that habit very quickly... And it is a habit. For me that behavior was almost compulsive.
I've gotten alot better about it in recovery. Still find that character flaw try to resurface sometimes... When I don't even realize it. Those old habits can be very sneaky and sometimes right under the surface. That's why vigilance can never be overtstated in AA.
Well. Time to call it a night! Hope you have a good one and God Bless!
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