11 Things You Should Start Doing For Yourself Today (Reposted)

Reposted from my good friend Riversurfer... She found this at "R" Hub Blog .... Thanks RS! It's a spectacular post so I thought I'd share. Enjoy!

“Enjoy everything that happens in your life, but never make your happiness or success dependent on an attachment to any person, place or thing.” Wayne Dyer

You deserve to live a more balanced, harmonious and happier life, starting today and starting now. Today, not tomorrow, nor the day after tomorrow is where your life is, where your life starts. Take good care of yourself, “begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake…” Francis Bacon

Focus more of your attention on yourself and pay close attention to all of these things for they are meant to help you create a more balanced and happier life, because you deserve the best life has to offer.

1. START BREATHING PROPERLY, SOFTLY AND DEEPLY

When was the last time you paid attention to your breathe? Whether you believe it or not, we forgot how to breathe, and what we call breathing is nothing more than shallow breathing. Take deep breaths throughout the day, pay attention to your breathing and know that by doing so, not only will you improve your health, but you will also train yourself into becoming more present and engaged in the present moment, more present and engaged in your own life and the life of others.

“Shallow breathing is the root of all evil but conscious deep breathing restores and secures our souls.”Desmond Green

2. LET GO OF YOUR PERSONAL HISTORY – ENJOY THE PRESENT MOMENT

Let go of your past. Have a clear image of where you want to go, know how you want your future to look like but live in the present moment, for the present moment is all you ever had, all that you have and all you’ll ever have. Know that every time you identify with your past, you deny yourself the right to grow and evolve, the right to advance in life.

“By referring to previous struggles and using them as reasons for not getting on with your life today, you’re assigning responsibility to the past for why you can’t be successful or happy in the present.” Dr. Wayne Dyer

3. LET GO OF ALL THOSE THINGS THAT NO LONGER SERVE YOU

Find the inner strength and courage to let go of all those things that no longer serve you, of all those things that no longer bring joy and happiness into your life. You and I know that “There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

4. FORGIVE YOURSELF FOR PAST MISTAKES

It’s okay to make mistakes. If we don’t make mistakes we don’t move, we don’t grow, we are stagnating. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and know that forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, forgiveness “is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” Robert Muller

5. FORGIVE ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HURT YOU

Start forgiving those who have hurt you, because you see, “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder

6. RELEASE ALL JUDGMENTS YOU HAVE PLACED UPON YOURSELF AND OTHERS

Whenever you catch yourself being judgmental towards yourself and others, repeating these words to yourself will help a lot: “Judgments prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.” Wayne Dyer. I use these words whenever I feel like my mind is getting ready to become judgmental, and I have to admit that they do help me be more open minded and tolerant both toward myself and others.

7. EXPECT THE BEST FROM LIFE

Expect the best and you will receive the best. Open your eyes and see the beauty that is present all around you, open your eyes and see yourself as the beautiful being you really are. Expect the best from yourself, from those around you and from life, because you see, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Paulo Coelho

8. NURTURE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF AND OTHERS

Love yourself, accept who you are and work on pleasing yourself before pleasing others, nurture yourself first before nurturing others. It is very important to start with yourself and I will give you one example to understand why that is.

You know how when you are on the airplane the flight attendant is giving all the passengers the instructions as to what to do it an emergency and they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first? Well, the same goes here. You will not be able to help others if you don’t help and take care of yourself first. Nurture the relationship you have with yourself so that you can be able to nurture your relationships with others.

9. START TREATING YOURSELF AS YOU WOULD WANT OTHERS TO TREAT YOU

Because if you yourself are not being kind and loving towards your own person, you can’t expect others to do so, right?. You can’t expect others to do something for you that you yourself are not capable of doing. Start treating yourself in the exact way you would like others to treat you.

“Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?” Fanny Brice

10. START TO NURTURE YOUR MIND, BODY, HEART AND SPIRIT

Work on nurturing your mind, your body, your heart and your soul, because “If you nurture your mind, body, and spirit, your time will expand. You will gain a new perspective that will allow you to accomplish much more.” Brian Koslow

11. DEVELOP AN ATITUDE OF GRATITUDE

Start developing “an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” Brian Tracy

Know that who you are right now, where you are and what you have is more than enough and appreciate it all.

Not the Same Jay

I believe that life is a school in which I must learn spiritual things. I must trust in God and He will teach me. I must listen to God and He will speak through my mind. I must commune with Him in spite of all opposition and every obstacle. There will be days when I will hear no voice in my mind and when there will come no intimate heart to heart communion. But if I persist, and make a life habit of schooling myself in spiritual things, God will reveal Himself to me in many ways.

That's our meditation for today. I love it. Even in the worst times of my life, I've always considered the world my church and the people in it my fellowship. I lost that ideal in my drinking career. I developed a serious disdain for people in general. The wonder disappeared. I was too concerned with keeping myself numb and protected from all outside influences. That's why I'm alone today.

Happily, though, in my recovery I've re-established so many relationships. They are very cautious people, and they should be. The fact that they are coming back around at all means everything. I'm showing the folks that I love just how important they are to me. :)

Making that new connection with God has made me so much better as well. I now see the real important things in my life.

Truck Driver Love

Our truck driver came today. We talked for a bit after all was done. He seems to be doing really well. We spoke a bit about what was going on with him and his wife. That's what's bothering him most I think, and I can completely relate.

*Sidenote... I'm sitting by the window at the Rue drinking coffee. It's awesome. Kids keep stopping and looking at the old Spider-Man stickers on my laptop.*

Back to the driver. Again, I told him that he was damn lucky that she is still by his side. Things are going to work out for them if he continues to do what he needs to do. He then told me about a friend of his who had finally straightened himself out, was doing very well, but it was still too late to salvage his marriage. I had to reassure him, again, that his wife must really love him, because she hasn't gone anywhere. I'm going to be completely honest. I envy the hell out of that. Not a healthy emotion, but at least I recognize it... LOL.

I reminded him, as I often do, that each time he screws up, it's going to get harder and harder to mend his relationship. I know this only too well, and I can assure anyone who takes their loved ones for granted, being apart from them.... being in limbo... is the worst feeling in the world. Believe me. That's no exaggeration. It's hell.

I try not to preach. I'm in no position to do that. But if this gets through to just one suffering person out there, the world will be a little bit of a better place.

To brighten things up a bit, here's today's thought from The Language of Letting Go...

Empowerment

You can think. You can make good decisions. You can make choices that are right for you.

Yes, we all make mistakes from time to time. But we are not mistakes.

We can make a new decision that takes new information into account.

We can change our mind from time to time. That's our right too.

We don't have to be intellectuals to make good choices. In recovery, we have a gift and a goal available to each of us. The gift is called wisdom.

Other people can think too. And that means we no longer have to feel responsible for other people's decisions.

That also means we are responsible for our choices.

We can reach out to others for feedback. We can ask for information. We can take opinions into account. But it is our task to make our own decisions. It is our pleasure and right to have our own opinions.

We are each free to embrace and enjoy the treasure of our own mind, intellect, and wisdom.

Today, I will treasure the gift of my mind. I will do my own thinking, make my own choices, and value my opinions. I will be open to what others think, but I will take responsibility for myself. I will ask for and trust that the Divine Wisdom is guiding me.

Truck Day and a New Chip

Our truck driver was back today. He was all over the place, and from his behavior, I'd sworn he must've been off his meds. He came up and talked to me a bit after we were all done.

He assured me that he was still taking them. That's something I can only take his word on. I asked about his family and they are doing ok. He's performing his role of father and husband much better. They've been doing alot of family activities. He's still sleeping in a different room, though. He seemed a bit exasperated by that. I told him not to waver. It sounded like he was making real progress and his wife obviously hasn't given up on him. As long as he was doing what he needed to be doing to get better, things would fall into place. That together he and she could save that marriage. They have the advantage of an open line of communication. That, a little willingness, openness, and honesty goes a long way. Whether he sticks to his guns, saves himself and everything he says he holds dear is up to him. I hope it all works out. It would do my heart some good too.

He shared that he is also a little worried about the holidays. He's welcome at his in-laws, but they aren't quite over things yet. I told him that the worst thing he could do is not visit. He still has to make amends to them too. The best way he can win them back is by getting better and showing them how much he loves their daughter and their grand-kids. When they see first hand that he is recovering, and his family is his top priority, they'll eventually come around. It's all about actions. Show me, don't tell me....

Once again... Whether this guy follows through, or not... I don't know. I do know that he is in a much better situation than I am with his partner. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit envious. I'd be lying, too, if I said I wouldn't be a bit disappointed if he threw it all away again and went back out. I have my own recovery, though, and I have to remember that.

It's something that I have immersed myself in. It's become a way of life for me. The things that I do in my program are now things that have just become a part of everyday living. I can't describe the good it is doing. Thank God.

Today is two months for me and I still have no desire to drink. I thank God for that too. I had to work all day and couldn't pick up my chip. I can't remember if my group on Saturday gives out chips or not. I know the Sunday group does... Very enthusiastic about that.

Oh. Want to hear a story about divine intervention? We all know my phone was stolen yesterday. I lost my sponsor's number as a result. After leaving an email for him on his work website and hearing no response, I said to myself, "Maybe I'll see someone from the group who knows him today." Who shows up where I work tonight but my grand-sponsor. Never seen him in there before. Got his number too. I call my sponsor everyday and was worried I'd miss one.

Well. That's it for now. I had some low spots today, but they passed. I hurt alot and miss someone every second of everyday. But I'm being patient, hopeful and am concentrating on recovery. The people in your life may say, "I've heard it all before." When they actually see it happening, however, it becomes something that they can't deny. I'm making it happen.

As long as I'm doing that, life is good.

Short Meetings and Busy Days

Just came out of the Mustard Seed. It was a 17 minute meeting. Weren't many there. Just a handful of us regulars. Someone asked me if it was worth the walk. I answered, "Yeah. It was worth it. I needed to be there." And it was. Just sitting there for that short amount of time helped center me. Plus I have a men's group tonight.

This wont be a long post. Busy day. I have my sponsor to meet, some second job searchin', and of course that later meeting. Will post about the rest of my day after that.

At Mustard Seed we talked about how sticking to the program has not only kept us from drinking, but has also enriched our lives. I've been keeping my nose to the grindstone and it has helped me in ways no one can imagine. I have a two month chip coming up next week. I also have my life back. Almost..... but I'm working on that. It's enriched so many of my relationships too, and I thank God for that. Hopefully it's enriching the most important one as well, but I can't be there to see it. Or talk about it.

I have my ups and downs, but things are going very well. And I am thankful.

Chance Encounters and Bible Verses

Sorry. Just got thrown a serious curveball. Went by Igor's for a burger and almost ran into her. I did run into our friend. She saw me, though, and I saw her. Very briefly. I am guilty of stopping for a second on my way back from getting something else to eat. Just to get a glimpse. Teresa mentioned that I was torturing myself... and I was. But I haven't seen her in so long. Anyway. Wanted to get that out in the open. Didn't try to engage her. I just left. It took every bit of strength, but I kept going. It was so good seeing her. Even for a moment.

There are a few things I wanted to write about tonight. The first being a conversation I had with a co-worker. I wont mention her name. Her son has a drug problem and she opened up to me a bit this morning. Listening to her tell me the story gave me an enormous amount of insight into the perspectives of the people I've hurt. How she loves him, but she can only do so much. How he has to want it. I could see the suffering in her eyes. I listened and gave feedback, but the things she was saying sounded an awful lot like what I imagine my loved ones said about me. It gave me a unique perspective into my disease.

She read a few verses from the Bible that I really liked.

Proverbs 16:28 A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.

Proverbs 16:32 Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

Proverbs 10:4 A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.

They describe me. How I used to be, how I am now, and the man I am becoming.

I talked to my brother today too. We've never discussed my problem before. I'd always avoided talking to him about it... What I was really doing was not giving him enough credit. He's definitely wise beyond his years. He was very helpful in giving me a spiritual point of view. We talked a bit about relationships as well. I'd told him about me wanting to work things out with Sarah. He'd learned alot from a seminar he and his wife went to a while back and passed some of the wisdom on to me. Thank you, Bro. And... fingers crossed.... I may be buying one of their vehicles off of them soon. My entire world wont consist of uptown and the French Quarter anymore.

The meeting was good tonight. We read and talked about the first step. I shared that I finally realized what it meant when they say recovery can be a bitch. The past few days have been horrendous. I'm experiencing serious feelings without numbing them with alcohol. Never done that and it ain't fun. But it comes with the program. And it is worth it.

The Lost Mother

Mom and her horse "Rita"

As a child, my mother suffered much worse things than I ever did. Physical and sexual abuse from her alcoholic father. My grandfather. I wasn't there of course, but from what she's told me over the years, I'd bet mental illness as well. Who wouldn't with a childhood like that. Her mother died when she was very young. I never met the lady, but I hear she was good. She had left my grandfather while my mom was a kid.

Mom never really grew up. Had me and married my dad at a very early age. 16 or 17 I think. She considered herself a hippie. What she actually was, was much different. Buck-wild with no identity. A child who was indifferent to everyone's needs except for her own instant gratification. She ran around on my dad frequently and often brought me with her. After she left, and my dad divorced her, she disappeared for a few years. We'd see her from time to time. As a child, that primal instinct to be with my mother kicked in when I saw her. It hurt that she didn't seem to have much time to even say "Hi".

The day came when my dad walked into my room and said that she wanted to see me. I don't remember how old I was. It was a Sunday and it was my birthday (or close to it). I must've gone silent, because my dad told me I didn't have to go if I didn't want to. I tend to abruptly go silent if something isn't sitting well. I said I would, though. She picked me up and took me to my aunt's lakehouse. Gave me a couple of toys and we called it a day. For quite a few years (and husbands) after that, that was pretty much the routine. Going out to eat, getting guilt gifts, spending a weekend here and there.....

These years brought alot of disappointment and grief as well. She'd say she was coming, not show up, and I'd be crushed. She spent an amazing amount of time partying. She drank and did alot of drugs. Never right in front of me mind you, but looking back on different occasions, certain things make a whole lot of sense. As a child and early teen, I never really knew why we'd go right to some stranger's house after picking me up... with me sitting alone in the car for an hour or two. There were quite a few shady things that went on, that in my later years I realized were starting to fall into place. She'd been involved in numerous illegal activities and been through many unhealthy relationships. Some of the relationships were potentially healthy, however, and those were the shortest lived.

Today, her past has caught up with her. She's become a sad recluse. Most folks wouldn't even recognize her. She's still delusional in a lot of ways. Still an active addict. Lives in a rundown house in central Alabama. I call her from time to time to see how she's doing. She loves to give me advice. She's always saying she wants grandkids (not sure that I'd let her see them when that time comes). One of the things that gets me most, though, is that she expects me to take care of her when she's old. I don't like talking to my mom, and when the subject goes to that... well... let's just say that my serenity starts slipping away. I'll do my best to make sure that she is ok, but I have my own life and future family in which to devote everything I have to give. To make damn sure that my children never experience what I had to. Or she had to.

The Truck Driver

Won't lie. It was a pretty tough day today. The entire day was devoted to work. That's not a bad thing though. Called my sponsor on the way in.

We have a guy that comes around once a week. He's a truck driver. Young and loud. Has a wife and kid. He confided in me last week a problem he was having at home. It's not too dissimilar to mine. He had been going out and getting drunk, plus some things that aren't similar to my story. Anyway. He finally admitted it all to his wife and she put him on the couch. I asked how it was going this week. He told me he was still in the doghouse, but they were working on it. I wasn't sure how to convey to him the importance of not being complacent and going back to that again. We alcoholics are a hard-headed lot. It's not quite as easy as someone saying, "Don't do it." Sometimes we slip and slide before we grasp the idea that this can really ruin our lives and others. I told him that there would indeed come a day when she wouldn't take him back. That he was lucky she was willing. Giving him that, I said good-bye. It's up to him and him alone what he does with it. I have to concentrate on my own recovery. For which, I have to say, I am doing with gusto. ;)