Jay's St. Patrick's Day That Was

It... was... a... never... ending... procession... of drunk people. I didn't find it a threat to my sobriety. Just the opposite. If I acted like some of the people I had to deal with today, I'd be red with shame. I'm not judging folks who drink responsibly and have a good time. It's the hundreds of people who trash the workplace, pee in the alleyway outside, flirt relentlessly, and challenge you when they are told something they don't want to hear. It went on for 8 HOURS STRAIGHT. Dealing with 30 and 40 year olds who act like they are in kindergarten.

Thank God I had someone to talk with that kept me in a decent frame of serenity. That's an awesome thing in recovery when you know that you have someone you can go to. Thanks Teresa and Karl!

It took today for me to further realize that after a certain age it's time to grow up. In my experience, the most successful people are the most boring people. I'd rather be boring with a family than stuck in some kind of sad Peter Pan syndrome.

Some may find me judgmental. Perhaps that's true on some level. I will, however, risk sounding like that by saying that I have a unique perspective on smart and irresponsible drinking.

I don't rant often on these pages. After all. I was one of those drunk people at one point in my life. I'm under no kind of illusion.

On the positive side, today is over for me. I later spent some time with some emotionally healthy people. Had some great food. And now I'm going to watch the rest of SNL.

It could have been a seriously fun day. I took some pics on my phone. Unfortunately I had no one to share the parade with. And I had to work a crappy job.

That's stuff I have within my power to change. Trust me. I will. I'm tired of being the mouse.

Don't worry. I'm feelin' good about things. Good night and God Bless!

The Merry Go-Round

We alcoholics were on a merry go-round, going round and round, and we couldn't get off. That merry go round is a kind of hell on earth. In A.A. I got off that merry go-round by learning to stay sober. I pray to my Higher Power every morning to help me to keep sober. And I get the strength from that Power to do what I could never do with my own strength. I do not doubt the existence of that Power. We're not speaking into a vacuum when we pray. That Power is there, if we will use it. Am I off the merry go round of drinking for good?

There's not much that was "merry" on my alcoholic cycle. Just despair. Even in my sobriety I feel lonely and hopeless sometimes. Perhaps it's because I have so much work ahead of me.

I have, however, made alot of progress. My credit is better than it has ever been. Job longevity is good. The possibilities are opening up. I just have to stay plugged in.

The future is glorious... If I continue to work it.

Goodnight and God bless.

On To Step... 1?

Just got back from meeting with my sponsor and I am excited to say that I have finished my steps. Thing is, you never really finish them. These steps are practiced every day of my life. The most successful people in recovery usually go back and do them over and over again. When they decide to sponsor, they get to go through them with a sponsee. You'll find that you learn something new every time you do them, and it's great re-enforcement for sobriety. That's why I'll be doing them again in the not-too-distant future.

We had a really good meeting. It was cold, blustery, and wet outside the coffee shop, but well worth it. We talked for a little while then went over 11 and 12.

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with

God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us

and the power to carry that out.

and...

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to

carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our

affairs.

Speaking of coffee shops, I'm sad to say that the Rue de la Course on Magazine St. has closed its doors. I've spent many hours there writing posts for this very blog. I've spent time with more than one sponsor there. And it was a great place to grab a coffee, sit at an outside table, and hang with friends. People watching at the Rue was interesting to say the least.

Well. I'm going to eat my sub and watch Storage Wars. It's been a great day. Goodnight and God Bless!

Back to the Norm

Work went really well. I did alot of lifting, climbing, and carrying so I'm a bit worn out. Gonna do some laundry, eat my sandwich, and get ready for bed....

Kinda sad seeing the Mardi Gras season go. Was walking down St. Charles on my way home and noticed how quiet it was. Just yesterday there were thousands of people crowding the street to see the parades. In less than a month, though, we'll have the St. Patrick's Parade (another little taste of insanity for those who miss it).

I am looking forward to having my homegroup again. It starts back tomorrow night. And we have a business meeting.

Now we can take an inventory of the good things that have come to us through A.A. To begin with, we're sober today. That's the biggest asset on any alcoholic's books. Sobriety to us is like goodwill in business. Everything else depends on that. Most of us have jobs, which we owe to our sobriety. We know we couldn't hold these jobs if we were drinking, so our jobs depend on our sobriety. Most of us have wives or husbands and children, which we either had lost or might have lost, if we hadn't stopped drinking. We have friends in A.A., real friends who are always ready to help us. Do I realize that my job, my family, and my real friends are dependent upon my sobriety?

There's the thought for the day. I really like it. It's a crucial reminder of exactly how much rides on my recovery. I should read that passage every day.

Well. I'm going to check on my clothes and wind down. Have a great night and God Bless!

Mardi Gras in Recovery

Wow. I am soaked and I am tired. Nothing too long or profound tonight.

Had a great day at work. Put in for my vacation time in June. Left at 7 and went straight to St. Charles and Napoleon to see tonight's parades. Ancient Druids ran first and then I had the distinct pleasure of seeing the inaugural run of the Mystic Krewe of Nyx. It rained off and on, had my umbrella, but still got wet.

Sobriety rocks. I can do stuff like that without drinking and enjoy it perhaps even more. There was a time in my life where I wanted to drink for any occasion. 4th of July? Bring on the Bud. Christmas? Put a little rum in that eggnog. Arbor Day?... Well. You get the idea. I spent my entire first Mardi Gras drinking. I mean the entire time. I was so consumed with myself having fun that I disregarded the fact that I had a beautiful woman, who loved me very much, and she only wanted to enjoy it with me. I have a lot of Mardi Gras...es (What's plural for that?) to make up to her. And Christmases. And 4th of Julys. And vacations. And so, so much more. I can't wait. Given the opportunity of course.

I took a little video with my Blackberry. I'm not falling down at the end of it. Someone threw me a frisbee and I was picking it up. ;)

As always, the picture quality is

atrocious at night.

I'm going to eat a very late dinner and get ready for bed. Until tomorrow... Goodnight and God bless!

Welcome 2012!

I just got back from seeing a live jazz trio at The Columns Hotel on St. Charles. I know it's nobody's fault but my own, but I got kind of weary of spending holidays alone so I went out and did something to celebrate. I must tell you up front that I celebrated with nothing more than cranberry and soda.... with a twist of lime.

Here are a few pics that I took with my phone. The camera on that thing is terrible. You'd expect more from a Blackberry. Especially a newer model.

I can assure you that I'm not normally that blurry. Geez. It looks like a circa 1970's picture of Bigfoot. Had a good time, though, and I made some new friends. Friends I'll probably never see again, but it was nice to have some interaction. One of the little things that recovery has given me is that I'm more social.

Anyway... I hope that you all have a blessed 2012. May the new year bring us love, prosperity, and happiness. I have big plans for my first full year of sobriety. The sky's the limit. I can now realistically concentrate on starting a family. An actual career. A home. Having a real life, being the man, and the provider I should have been years ago. I owe all that to God.

Once again. Best wishes. I hope we see a better world in the new year.... and not a Mayan apocalypse.

Have a Happy But Safe New Year's Eve!

Meditation for the Day

As we look back over the year just gone, it has been a good year to the extent that we have put good thoughts, good words, and good deeds into it. None of what we have thought, said, or done need be wasted. Both the good and the bad experiences can be profited by. In a sense, the past is not entirely gone. The result of it, for good or evil, is with us at the present moment. We can only learn by experience and none of our experience is completely wasted. We can humbly thank God for the good things of the year that has gone.

One of the things I am most grateful for from 2011 is that it was the year I found sobriety, recovery, and God. I plan to use this gift for the continuing betterment of myself and for those I love. After all... What good is a true gift if you can't use it to make others happy too?

It was a turbulent year, and there are many things from it that I'm not proud of. There were some very good times as well. My goal is to take what I've learned, and become, into 2012 and make it the best, happiest year possible.

I'll write again tonight, but it will probably be a very late post. As a matter of fact, it'll be the first post of a new year.

For those who drink during the festivities... Have fun, but be responsible. Think not only of your own safety, but that of others.