My Bio-Mom is a Time Lord

Debra Vann Melton Venable Skarret Frizzell Thornton Estes Strickland. Not sure about that last one. She's had a lot of faces and obviously... last names. I ended up a bit like Debra. Not quite as bad, but bad enough. One way I differ from her (and maybe learned something from my observations) is that I don't give up on relationships very easily. I'm loyal to a fault. I can definitely do some dick-headed things, but I am proud to say that I have never cheated on anyone. Been cheated on plenty. However. I have to give Cupcake some kudos. As far as I know, she never ran around on me.

How are my bio-mom and I the same? We are famous for doing whatever the hell we want regardless of the repercussions  We share at least two addictions. Smoking and booze. I never really got into drugs (Thank Mike... Mike is Tiff's word for God. Sheila is another name for the holy one. She's becoming more and more convinced that God is a woman. Tiff is a friend of mine BTW.)

My anxiety factor goes through the roof when I talk about the multi-named one. I will stop here for now. I hope you all have a great day and life throws you nothing but awesomeness.

Hello world!

I'm back, and I'm bad! Obviously, within certain
sensible pre-set parameters... -Kryten (Red Dwarf)

I've been incredibly selfish by letting this blog go. A lot of it was my fault. Believe it or not, though, with a bit of influence from a couple of other people. I've strayed quite a bit... perhaps I should capitalize one of those words... QUITE a bit.

Not going to self-deprecate as much as I used to. That will be one change. That kind of behavior can hinder one's progress. I'm not going to post everyday, and the posts won't always be about addiction.

I want my blog to be about life, honesty, and love.

That said I have a few things to clear up. I went out of control for over a year. I used death, relationships (one in particular), and loss of hope as an excuse to go ape-shit bonkers. More things I want to clear up regarding my recovery...

My Higher Power- It's going to be science. I thrive on facts, and the facts are horrifying. That's enough alone to make a reasonable person want to genuinely put down the bottle and straighten up.

Faith- Doing what you know is right and expecting positive rewards. This is true. Every person I know who leads a good, selfless life thrives and is generally happy.

AA- Awesome resource for support and development.

Lament of Prior Relationships- New Orleans has been a bitter-sweet home for me. It's my favorite city, but makes me incredibly sad. It seemed like everywhere I went reminded me of a shared experience that eventually turned into bad memories. Things that I love and shared with various women are mine again. I reclaim Doctor Who, The Cure, Riverview Park, and Sriracha sauce (among other stuff).

Sure. I'm mad. I am, however, trying to channel my emotions toward more positive things.

And with that, I say, "Good day". :) I hope I don't disappoint again.

My Lament

People seem very drawn to me. The only reason I have for this is that I'm much more honest with strangers than the folks I love. Go figure...

I'm Back!... I Hope.

Certain life events distracted me from writing for a very long time. Well, I allowed myself to get distracted.

Going to try to get back into the habit of  posting regularly. Here's the daily thought from Today's Gift...

Sometimes we trade possessions with our friends. Maybe we want to add to our collection, or perhaps we just do it to get someone to like us. But if we try to buy friendship, we'll be sad later when we realize we've lost a prized possession and not gained a friend.

Our friendships come when we least expect them, often with people who have something in common with us. They will not be friendships we have to buy, but relationships to treasure and have for years. These friendships will teach us to respect ourselves and our friends.

Am I making good friends, or bad trades?

Sticks and Bricks

We had a really good speaker at homegroup tonight. Something he said jumped out at me. He talked about what our recovery is built on. The house that stands for a hundred years is built on a strong foundation.

I immediately thought of a children's story that I'm sure we're all familiar with... My recovery is only as strong as what I put into it. If I build straw or stick houses, the wolf (my own pride and complacency) is going to keep coming back to blow them down. Hard work, diligence, and faith are the things bricks are made of.

Our Higher Power, however, is the strongest part of that foundation. My previous meeting today was another speaker meeting. She brought up the meditation from 24 Hours A Day. I think it relates pretty well to that aspect of what we all discussed tonight...

"Hallowed be Thy Name." What does that mean to us? Here "name" is used in the sense of "spirit." The words mean praise to God for His spirit in the world, making us better. We should be especially grateful for God's spirit, which gives us the strength to overcome all that is base in our lives. His spirit is powerful. It can help us to live a conquering, abundant life. So we praise and thank Him for His spirit in our lives and in the lives of others.

Well. It's getting late and I'm pretty pooped. Today was a great day in recovery. Good night, all, and God Bless.

Life's Happenin'

I'm finding that as time goes on and life gets happenin', it's easier and easier to fall out of the habit of posting. Life's been good, though. Work is going well, been keeping up with my folks pretty regularly, and Cupcake and I are getting on better than we ever have. She and I are actually spending more quality, enjoyable time together. Whether it be at home watching a movie, hiking through a swamp, or having a spectacular dinner at historic Pascal's Manale. We even talk more. ...And she made me cheesy mashed potatoes tonight.

Haven't heard from my old sponsor in forever. Not making assumptions, but I know the fact is that I'll need to get another ASAP. Been courting someone I've known for a while to fill that role. We just need to find a good time to meet that matches our schedules.

So there ya have it... Still alive and still truckin'. And about to stretch out in bed. I'll leave ya with the passage from Today's Gift. Goodnight and God bless!

A crow dying of thirst came upon a pitcher that had once been full of water. He shoved his beak into the pitcher and discovered that there was very little water left. But he was determined to get it.

Time and again he thrust his beak into the pitcher, but could not reach the water. He was about to drop dead from both thirst and despair when he spotted a pile of pebbles nearby.

The crow picked up one in his beak, and dropped it into the pitcher. He took another and did the same. Each time he dropped a pebble into the pitcher, he noticed that the water level rose slightly. Energized by this discovery, he continued his efforts until the water level rose to where he could reach it.

Then the crow drank the water, which saved his life.

The moral of the story: Small actions can have big results.

Recovery is a process that involves taking small steps, but sometimes progress is hard to see. At such time, take heart. Resist the temptation to give up. Instead, trust that your steady and dedicated effort is taking you ever closer to your goal.

The Rich Man and Lazarus- Cornerstone Service from 07-08-12