What I Do Today

In A.A. we forget about the future. We know from experience that as time goes on, the future takes care of itself. Everything works out well, as long as we stay sober. All we need to think about is today. When we get up in the morning and see the sun shining in the window, we thank God that He has given us another day to enjoy because we're sober, a day in which we may have a chance to help somebody. Do I know that this day is all I have and that with God's help I can stay sober today?

Some may think it a bit irresponsible to not worry about the future. That the future will take care of itself. The operative word here, however, is worry. I have plenty of goals that I hope to see come to fruition. Some are for today... Some may be a little down the road. I just know that I can't stress out about something that hasn't happened yet. Whatever the future holds, the things I do now will ensure that it's great. All insecurity and worry will do is slow me down. Perhaps even bring some old behaviors back to the surface.

It's only natural to experience anxiety in the face of the unknown, but there are healthy ways of dealing with it. Through God and working the steps I have learned how to better let go of tomorrow and concentrate on shaping it by what I do today.

And today was a good day. Work went well. Had a couple of thunderstorms blow through. I like thunderstorms. The boss bought the staff Popeye's chicken, which one day I will learn may only be a good idea while you're eating it. Still appreciated it, though. Good stuff, just very greasy.

Anyhow. Early day tomorrow so I'll be going to bed soon.

Have a great night, world!

This, Too, Shall Pass

I was so looking forward to getting home after a long bus trip. Even when we arrived at the terminal, I was excited to catch a cab, get back to the apartment, and see what today brings. I was excited to be near Sarah again.

Then I got back to the apartment and wished I was back on that bus... Nothing was touched. It was like I'd never left. Like the past week had been a dream. I was alone again. I sat down and cried.

Recovery has taught me to do well on my own. But everyone gets lonely. I just thought it would take longer for that melancholy to find me. You can't hide from something that is in your heart.

So what do I do now? I guess I'll go out... see what's happening around town today. Grab some lunch. Catch a meeting. See if there's live jazz at The Columns tonight. I really don't know.

I don't regret coming home. Don't get me wrong. There are goals and priorities I have set. A future to continue to build. I'm very enthusiastic about that.

I have to remember that "This, too, shall pass." Maybe I'll have something more upbeat to post about tonight.

The Realities and Verities of Existence

Our moderator at Mustard Seed read the old Sanskrit proverb by Kalidasa that I love. Sometimes I pull up 24 Hours a Day just to read it. I know I've posted it here before, but I am again since it is relevant to the topic...

Look to this day,

For it is life,

The very life of life.

In its brief course lie all

The realities and verities of existence,

The bliss of growth,

The splendor of action,

The glory of power

For yesterday is but a dream,

And tomorrow is only a vision,

But today, well lived,

Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness

And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore, to this day.

It's a powerful reminder to live in the present. The past is history and the future is a mystery. We can only learn from our pasts and strive to be better. Preparing and planning for the future is great, but we can only live in the "now". Worrying too much about what might happen down the road robs us of our ability to take care of current matters. Once again.... Today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

The future is going to be spectacular as long as I'm doing what I need to do today to ensure that. :)

I'll write again after my evening meeting. Until then... Peace.